Monday, 11 June 2018

Spots and Tomatoes and new haircut 11 June 2018








 



Spots and Connecting the Dots ©

By Michael Casey

Spots appear before your eyes and you squint, different patterns have different effects on us. ZigZags and thin stripes and thick stripes, straight down or across all sorts of patterns and designs.This is fashion, and knowing what suits you makes all the difference.

Knowing what colours suit you best is the greatest knowledge of all, and having a swatch done can really change your life. A bit of orange lipstick can make all the difference too, power make-up that suits your skin tone and personality really does work. I speak as a make-up artist now. You think bright red all over your lips makes you so sexy, in fact it can just make you look stupid, or just cheap.

Style in make-up is everything. Watch the tv and see some of the female reporters, who looks best, the less is more, or throw as much make-up on as possible as if its going out of style. If you are going up Broad St and you are after a night of passion in a city centre hotel after you pick up some bloke then you dress and behave like Geordie Shore.

But if you hope you might just meet somebody nice, then you’ll dress differently, and use more subtle make-up. Think how a man’s brain works, yes it s a contradiction in terms, a man having a brain when they just think from their their trousers. All Men Are Bastards after all, apart form your own dad.

So you may chose a little bit of lipstick, or even a bit of eye-liner, and earrings to highlight your very kissable neck. And depending on your bust a tight top or a loose one, it also depends on the level of your shyness. Ditto with you bum, a tight skirt or jeans or maybe loose clothes. Same goes for legs, to show or not to show, but definitely wax or shave, no man wants a women with more hair on her legs than him.

This is up to you. If you’ve got it flaunt it, whatever your best feature is, use it. Not everybody can be a 10 like me, I was in that film after all, Dudley Moore was incorrigible you know. The rogue.

Perfume should be light and nice, you are not hiding your smelly feet after all. Then you are ready to allow a man to sweep you off your feet, are you up for it?

Having said what I’ve just said, I need to remind you all, its Conversation that makes the difference. After you have caught your man either for a night in a Broad Street hotel, or for life and if its for life he’ll remind you of your dad, smelly feet and all. But you’ll forgive him all his weaknesses and even ex-wives because he makes you laugh.

Looks fade, clothes are discarded, and beds make break either in shared lust, or he just trips over your discarded knickers, so what is left after the passion is gone. Conversation endures and when the lights are out and the passion is spent you still can talk as you curl into each other. Until one of you farts and you laugh together, and if you can laugh when he farts in your bed, then he’s the one. Take it from me, my name is Tootsie, you did see my film didn’t you?   

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Humour Writing by the fat silver haired writer in shades from Birmingham England read in 167 countries so far https://www.amazon.co.uk/Micha...