Ice Cream at my Funeral ©
By
Michael Casey
Well
its hot and my big daughter wanted ice cream so we had some new green
ice cream from the local alcohol shop. It did not have alcohol in it and
it was not minty either, but we liked it, so we had our share and put
it back in our fridge for later. It said the taste of the East so
obviously I was attracted to it. As me and my daughter enjoyed it, I
thought what can I talk about tonight, then the idea of Ice Cream at my
Funeral arrived.
So
would you eat ice cream at a funeral. We had a snooker table full of
food at my mother’s and then my dad’s funeral, and obviously the bar was
open too, we were in the Irish Club over the road from the funeral
directors. But would you have ice cream at a funeral. I’ve just decided I
want ice cream at mine. Sadly I won’t get to eat any myself, but there
should be a party atmosphere, the days of wearing black at funerals are
long over. Except celebrity funerals, especially Z list celebrity
funerals where everything is exaggerated as much as the Duchess of
York’s, that’s Fergie’s, waves to the Queen at Ascot.
Ice
cream is from Xmas parties at primary school, I can remember hearing
don’t get burnt, yes burnt as they moved a chunk of ice which was being
used to keep the ice creams cold at the school Christmas party, this was
in 1968 maybe. See my greed has kept that memory alive till this very
moment, we were sat in the school hall I remember.
Maybe
only Latins would have ice cream at funerals, or drugs cartel funerals.
I don’t know, I’ve never been invited to a Latin American drugs cartel
funeral. And the only “drugs” I take are medicines my doctors insist I
take. Though with my imagination some people think I must be on drugs.
Sorry to disappoint you, and please stop sending me adverts for legal
cannabis. I’m in UK, not USA. Imagination is all I need and maybe a good
supply of ice cold fizzy pop from the shop.
Ice
cream does denote celebration or relaxation, and expensive ice cream,
not the cheapest of the cheap stuff is so nice. Ask any girl, the
quickest way to her heart is Cadbury’s chocolate from here in
Birmingham, and ice cream. Give a girl that and she will give you, her
attention. Anything else you will have to deserve.
Ice
cream is Summer and happiness, even Theresa May is having an ice cream
right now, as she contemplates hanging Boris from the flagpole on top of
no.10 Downing Street by his naughty bits. Meanwhile she has a 2nd ice
cream and gets her security crew to have one too, an ice cream to relax
with, even the policeman on the door gets one, with not one but two
Cadbury flakes inserted. Forming a 2 fingered salute in the ice cream
just in case Boris passes by.
So
ice cream is a thing of joy, you cannot be unhappy when the ice cream
is dripping down your fingers. Even hardened close protection officers
can relax as they have a ice cream. Theresa may have some ice lollies
too stuck at the back of the fridge. If you save the sticks from the
lollies when you have five of them you can weave together a triangle
that you can throw across the garden of number 10 Downing street. How
else do you think Theresa May can relax? Yes it’s ice cream and lollies
followed by making flying ice lolly stick triangles.
But
I digressed, however it proves a point ice cream helps people chill, it
relaxes us and brings out the child in us. So when my time arrives head
for the ice cream section in Iceland or any posh supermarket, don’t
wear black, not unless you are fat or going to a night club later. Then
lick your lolly as the priest says the prays and buries me in Trinity
Road graveyard Smethwick, next door to the Sikh temple and the postal
sorting office, and over the road from what was The District Iron and
Steel Brasshouse Lane, Smethwick, where my dad spent 40 happy years
sweating. It has rail, canal and road connections, so you can all come
and pay a visit when you are looking for work, as it’s opposite the
labour exchange too.
Enjoy
your ice cream and remember though Life ends in cold, its when we make
Life warm and full of laughter that we truly enjoy our lives. So make
love and enjoy ice cream simultaneously, then you will enjoy life to the
full, but be careful where you drop any ice cream.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: only a member of this blog may post a comment.