Humour Writing by the fat silver haired writer in shades from Birmingham England read in 171 countries so far
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Michael-Casey/e/B00571G0YC https://butcherbakerundertaker.blogspot.com.https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1VFNwQSaGBYgNgZdintU4ZKeAd73ijM4O?usp=sharinghttps://soundcloud.com/michaelgcasey
Taylor Swift Wedding Nights Advice (c). by Michael Casey
Now that you no longer are my high duster cleaner
Things to remember
Now you are about to be WED
Never allow him to leave his Jock Strap lying about
As cats love to sniff and lick
So they may get a shock or two
And a cat with its hair on end, I avoided the P word, is disturbing
Like Don King that boxing guy
and A box is another thing he should not leave lying around
You know what cats are like for getting into boxes
If your cat is in his box, you’ll never get it out
Very territorial
So put your cats away, far far away where Shrek lives so you get no surprises
As a cat even a cool cat jumping out of a Footballer’s box is the
VERY LAST thing you want on your Wedding Night
Trust me , I am a writer, The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker by Michael Casey
fat, and silver haired and from Birmingham ENGLAND
I have to tell you, or you’ll go to Alabama with Banjo Knee
and he’ll be rubbing it with cream all night long
Banjo Knee is a serious condition , ask any musician
Go to the local Irish bar and they will tell you
But go to the right bar, on the left past the shops
past The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker
by Michael Casey
he’s the fat slob, about 266 pounds of flesh
Shakespeare was his Landlord in his local pub
until he got barred for farting too loudly
and drowning out the sound of the Karokee Machine
Michael Casey said Taylor was not as Swift as she used to be
it’s like she drags a bit, or did he mean she dresses in drag
she is so Tall, anyway, it may be spite cos who
else could he persuade to do his high dustin
Pink might be persuaded , but Pink classes with his decore
so a Pink cleaner was no use
Perhaps If offered 2 faggots and pees with a squirt of vinegar
then Taylor might reconsider and do a bit of hoovering
I pay dam good pay rates, especially as her spillage was noticable
those short skirts and bustenhalten don’t keep enough in
No wonder the grizly bear was smitten
Football, its more like Rugby for girls, all the padded bras they wear
I play Rugby Union for 5 years
Ali Campbell and Me were in the same class 1B
he broke his collar bone and cried
SO we all cried 1970 or 1971 maybe
anyway Grizzle Bear, I ended up being in front row
Swinging with the Hooker in the Middle
Garry Marshall and HIS dad was a Milk Man
and Benny Hill had a song on Utube
Ernie The Fastest Milkman in the West
So when the singing starts after the wedding brunch
you can all sing that
Or Donald Where’s Your Trousers
another gem, as the Donald did not get an invite
Not unless his thinks he is the Pope
and does marriage ceremony for you
DEMENTIA and all that
I wish you and your Care Bear all the best
and Nigel is a great name for any future son
Nice one Nigel, let’s have another One
is an old song
If your bint or bird or gal or Lady or Boss
or the Only One, what do you call each other
MUSH or my twinkle dinkle do dum dum dum dum tea tea tea DUM
Or hey Blondie get out of the way of the TV
I’m watching Michael Casey the fat silver haired writer from Birmingham England
and after all this he is a real SOB, and yes I admit it SOB SOB SOB SOB SOB
I’m not crying I lost my high dusterer
I am a real SOB
Son Of a Blacksmith from Kerry Ireland
MUM has 300 pounds and false teeth on 9th July 1949
dad took it and gave. her 6 kids, and now 4 grandkids
and I am just the normal one
When you are finished with the Wedding and are all alone in the marriage bed
You can prop your Kindle up on his bare backside
and read The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker by Michael Casey
a PhD is a Benny Hill body , that’s me
And as he sleeps you can do something more interesting
My 3.4 million word IP is for sale ,readers in 172 counties at least
the rest is online, a great investment even just as an ESOL business
so think about that as he snores and sleeps
So you’ve made a bit of money even on your wedding night
You bet on the time he’d fall asleep
and now you can take a chance on me
Abba are so great as bedroom singalongs
what else are you supposed to do on wedding nights
Yes I really really am a SOB, Son Of a Blacksmith
and in love with words for 57 years
that is why I offer Variety
SO seriously, Offer support even if its for a bum’s book (me that is)
Offer Variety and lots of sauce like in Heinz Beans
and the warmth of your love will be like a breeze
opening windows in your heart for each other for ever more
and always have MORE, like in Oliver Twist
Please SIR, can I have more
and never argue over money
money is for seeding growth
Love Grows where Rosemary was planted
which may be a metaphor
But Metaphor hit every which way, and stir crazy
whatever that means, Imagine
You’ll be in Heaven
And yes John Lennon was our Lodger back in the 1980s
he was a factory worker at GKN and wore very white
sneakers, yes really, same name, different strings to his bow
So you have much ado about, not nothing
But a Grizzle Bear, a carpet of your very own
and cuddles on a carpet
Ok, have you had enough of me, obviously
BUT do have a nice Marriage, the Wedding is just the prologue
I bet nobody else will write such prose for you
If they did the quarter back would what kicked them into touch
And remember it is all about TOUCH
in every way possible
Touch your hearts, touch you souls, touch this, touch that, touch the other, touch each other, and TOUCHDOWN
But keep a safety belt on, if you are are Flying because in the wind you may bang your head on the ceiling.
BUT as you are both so Tall, so will always be Dancing on the Ceiling
Love him especially when he is Tender
Michael Casey the fat silver haired writer from Birmingham England.
2nd july 2026. 18.30 pm
to be read by whoever is still sober anytime you fancy, a quick swift one
