Playing a Round with Donald Trump © By Michael Casey

Playing a Round with Donald Trump ©

By

Michael Casey

Well it had to happen, Donald had swept in and offered Cake for Everybody, then he

disappeared and I got no cake. Let them Eat Cake, was what that French Lady said,

and look what happened to her. It was not TOP SECRET it was all over tv, after

Donald was counted out 37 times, which is a bit like that French film from the 60s.

Film buffs go check it out.

So, I said to Rodger who knew all about swings, you should challenge him. Rodger

declined gracefully, he had to wash the CPNEC van after all. Then I thought you

know what I’ll challenge the Old Fraud myself, though all I know is that golfers have

dimples on their balls. I was going to ring a lady and ask does Donald have dimples

on his, only she said she’d signed a non-disclosure agreement.

Donald replied in crayon, a note pushed through my letter box, wrapped in a red

baseball hat, used, it had strands on his hair in it. I was going to have it DNA tested,

my friend Carol works down the Path Lab. When Carol is not testing my Pee for Ckd

he has a side-line of Paternity testing.

I send an email to the Chinese email address inside Donald’s baseball cap, and they

would pass on my reply. Yes, Donald would battle my stand-in as I cannot get

around a lot what with all my illnesses. Little did he know, who would swing for me,

only my man from the Pharmacy. Mr Pharma Man himself.

Donald sent a plane to pick up my man, and when he arrived Donald Trump mocked

him openly. Just wait till wants something for the weekend, no Pharmacy in the

whole of the UK would welcome him.

Donald teed off, Pharma Man waited then with one almighty stroke a Hole in One.

Then while Donald had a few strokes to finish the first hole, Pharmacy Man was on

the phone discussing piles and how to threat them, Donald being so close gave

Pharmacy Man a few ideas on Pile Drivers.

Donald smiled, beginner’s luck, I built this course. Pharmacy Man, put his phone

back again, as Donald hit the ball with all his might, it actually landed on the green.

Though Donald fell over all red faced, and the Secret Service had to give him

Oxygen. Pharmacy Man moon walked backwards, and spun around in slow motion,

and hit a 2 nd Hole in One. Then took his phone out to discuss laxatives, as Donald

got up and took four more stokes to get in it the hole.

Donald was livid by now, just who are you. I’m the Pharmacy Man said the

Pharmacy Man showing Donald a picture of himself and his Lady Wife standing

behind the counter of his Corner Pharmacy shop opposite the Pub and the Building

Society and by the Electrical store. The Pharmacy man smiled, he may be small in

stature but as far as Pharmacy was concerned he knew it all. His Golf was not too

bad either as he had played every golf course in the whole of Ireland and a good few

in England. 30 years plus experience, of Pharmacy and swinging his golf club.

Donald strode to the 3 rd tee, the Pharmacy man reaching into his golf bag and

brought out a flask of tea, Indian of course. Plus, a sandwich, all the time consulting

on the phone had made him peckish. Donald gripped his club and swung it, missed

the ball and brought up a clump of earth. The Pharmacy Man smiled knowingly, I can

recommend Eye Drops, that might help you. Donald took 7 shots to get it in the hole,

and yes the Pharmacy Man did it in one, another Hole in One.

At the fourth Donald was red faced and livid, just tell me, who the&&&& are you

really? I’m the Pharmacy Man, replied the Pharmacy man smiling with a twinkle in

his eye. The Pharmacy man was on his phone again, organising a Charity Event,

and would Donald like to donate a set of clubs, as clearly he was not having any luck

with those one. Donald swung, and fell over backwards into a bunker, 8 shots for

that hole. The Pharmacy man, another hole in one.

At the 5 th Donald offered 1000dollars if the Pharmacy Man would take two shots, but

the Pharmacy Man replied, INTEGRITY cannot be bought, as he moon walked

backwards and hit a 5 th Hole in One. Donald screamed YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS

And attacked the ball, he got it in two. So at least his shots were better, though the

Pharmacy man did say, there’s a Lady I know who could help you with your Anger

Management, she’s 82 but she knows everything about Calming. Donald was livid

and screamed, the Secret Service had to restrain him and give him Oxygen.

At the 6 th there were bunkers everywhere, Secret Service hiding in them too.

Pharmacy Man said “looks tricky” as he put his reading glasses on. Trump skipped

around the tee he was so happy, perhaps maybe Pharmacy Man would not hole it in

one. So, Trump swung first and landed in a bunker, his ball bouncing off a Secret

Service Man’s head. But Trump did not care, he had a feeling the Pharmacy Man

would be Human. Just one moment, I have to take this call. It was his grandchild, he

had to ask how was Primary School, then after pulling a face on his phone. The

Pharmacy Man swung for it, wriggling like a worm as he swung. Of course, another

Hole in One. Trump’s face turned all the colours of the Rainbow, that reminds me

Gay Pride is coming to Birmingham remarked the Pharmacy Man, the Lord Mayor is

Gay, Andy Street, and he’ll be dancing in the street too, maybe you should pay a

Visit.

The Secret Service formed a huddle around Trump, like an American Football play.

The 7 th was a long fairway, with trees at every side, Trump had to decide, should he

use a big driver or what, he had plenty of drivers, a failed President always had

plenty. So, Trump plumped himself up to his full height and swung, the Secret

Service lined up behind to catch him. I should have worn my high heels said the

Pharmacy Man, as he swung. It was going to be a Hole in One, but a squirrel

grabbed his ball, bit it and dropped it in the Hole. Trump was Triumphant, Like 4 th of

July, he wanted to kiss the Secret Service, and none are Ladies.

See, no Hole in One. Actually, Under the Rules of Golf, Page 467, paragraph 1B. It

is a valid shot. Trump was apoplectic, He demanded somebody look it up. But calmly

the Pharmacy Man explained. Chapter and Verse. How can you know it, how can

you know it, Trump screamed. I’m a Pharmacy Man explained the Pharmacy Man,

How many books do you think I’ve read just to get Qualified? A book on Golf was

lying around on at our Honeymoon Hotel years ago. And my Wife suggested I get

out in the Fresh Air, all the time spent behind the counter of a Pharmacy would make

me a Dull Man. So that’s why I took up Golf in the first place. Something Trivial to

take my mind off the serious stuff, PHARMACY.

But as I’m a Gentleman, I’ll take the shot again. Could you do it with your Eyes

Closed Shut asked Trump sarcastically. So, Pharmacy Man closed his eyes, and

took a shot again. Another Hole in one. My wife has taught me so much, and as she

always says Eyes Closed Shut it always better, once you know the lay of the land.

You should listen to your Wife, Donald.

8 th hole coming up, a dog leg, 2 shots if you were a PGA champion. No way on

God’s little green earth would Pharmacy Man get a hole in one. Trump was crying

now, his fake tan being washed away, but at least Pharmacy Man would never get a

hole in one. Can we walk from tee to the green so I can picture it in my head, asked

the Pharmacy Man. So, they walked to the green and back, as Pharmacy man asked

his wife what were they having for tea, and to save some for him, he’d have it cold

when he finally got home. Putting his phone away, Pharmacy stood well back, as if

he was playing cricket, and then he took a run at the ball and swung his club. The

ball went high into the sky, like a rocket from Kim in North Korea, a seagull swerved

to avoid being hit. The ball came down and rolled along the green and stopped at the

lip of the hole, without falling in. Trump got a message from Secret Service stationed

there, Trump cried. His makeup in tatters. But then a second later the ball dropped

in. The Secret Service had to restrain Trump yet again.

Who in God’s Name are you? I’m just a Pharmacy Man, but I’m a very lucky man, as

I have such a great Lady. So long as she can hear my voice she’s happy. Ok, 9 th

Hole before we start the return 9 holes to the Club House. I’ll give you a million

dollars cash, if you just drop a shot, begged Trump. One million dollars, that’s what

Elizabeth Taylor said, but really she did not want the part, remarked Pharmacy Man.

As Pharmacy Man walked to the 9 th tee, he rung his wife yet again. These free

minutes are so good on our mobile plan, you are so clever my darling wife, and the

Pharmacy Man blew a kiss down the phone. Trump swung for the Pharmacy Man,

and it took all the Secret Service to restrain him. But calmly the Pharmacy Man

winked at Trump and hit another hole in one. You know this course is a little boring

to me, but it does match you perfectly Mr Trump.

9 holes in one, is that not proof enough for you, you LOST you LOST you LOST. In

2020 Election, what kind of substances are you taking? Maybe you should change

your Pharmacist, I could squeeze you on my list, I assume you have a decent doctor

already.

The Secret Service carried a Rabid Trump away, so the Pharmacy Man took a free

helicopter back, he was home in time for tea after all. Trump could shove his dimpled

balls up his backside 3 times a day with water.