The Fall

The Fall ©

By Michael Casey

In the Fall the leaves fall down, over here we call it Autumn.  Weather changes and  aches and pains grow, Arthritis grips you again after a Summer break. Now as the damp grows outside, inside your body aches, it’s the merry-go-round of pain. But at least the Summer was good.

Life has its seasons too. We begin all virgin and pure, but then you see that  Chinese girl’s photo, and when you finally her it’s too late, it’s a Fatal attraction. Why she likes ginger boys with weak facial hair neither of you know, it’s just an attraction. She’s never had a boyfriend, and when the ginger smiled it was too much for her, ginger snaps, changed her life. She fell for you, and it was her Fall. 

The ignominy and shame back home, she was a A student but she threw it all away for a ginger guitar player from a rock band. And he wasn’t even Chinese, in fact he could not even speak a word of Mandarin, all he knew was one cheeky catch phrase that the man from the noodle bar had taught him. Xi Ni Di Pigu. Don’t forget to wash your bum.

Now she was no longer pure and probably pregnant, wasting her life on a ginger, a rock guitarist at that. 24 carrot stupidity. She was so relieved when she discovered she was not pregnant, though no longer pure. That she jumped straight back into bed with him, Chinese people do like to be the best at everything. So she became the best at these matters. But she was indeed by then pregnant, and all the ginger could still say was Xi Ni Di Pigu.

Her Fall was complete, 24 and pregnant, the shame back home. She felt so bad she began to wail, and the ginger just recorded her wailing. As she wailed he improvised on his guitar and she wailed the more and screamed at him, but then she sung a song of remorse. The song went one for an hour and as she sung he played along. Outside there was banging on the door, maybe the ghost of Michael Jackson trying to get in. Finally all was silent.

Regularly as the pregnancy progress the Chinese girl wailed and her ginger boy played along on his guitar. By the time they were days away from the birth the song, an album length song was complete. At the birth her recorded too, but his guitar was banished. Do you  forgive me Linda Lu for taking your innocence away and giving you a little ginger Chinese baby boy? She slapped his face hard, as hard as the baby’s bottom had been slapped. Then smiled, but she had wanted a girl so they’d have to go through all this performance again till she got her girl.

The ginger wonder had a friend in Korea who had a radio station, so he persuaded him to play his album on the radio station. It debuted between 3am and 4am on Korea Seoul Sound FM368, for some strange reason the Korean audience loved it. It  finished with the sound of a baby being born, and a slap. The next night it was played again, and for a whole week night owls heard the hypnotic singing of a pregnant Chinese girl with her ginger wonder playing guitar.

Now the Gangham Style guy just could not sleep, even after reading Michael Casey online, he stumbled on the Chinese girl and the ginger wonder on the radio. And the rest as they say is History. Hong Kong wanted to know why they had not heard this girl first, Shanghai followed then Beijing. A ripple effect followed, The Fall of a Chinese girl with Ginger guitar, was a massive hit. The slap at the end was parents favorite bit, she should have slapped him first and then there would have been no wailing and indeed no baby.

Linda Lu was so happy and rich thanks to the radio exposure, and as for the ginger wonder. Well ginger became a baker, though he never played the drums, it was just that he always put things in the oven. They went on to have 8 children, as 8 is a lucky Chinese number. Their last child they called Michael, because sometimes the smallest child can have the biggest adventures.