My Lucky Numbers

My Lucky Numbers ©

By

Michael Casey

We all have Lucky Numbers, even if we don’t Gamble. 7 is nice because it reminds us of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, or the Frank Sinatra film the 7 Hoods. 8 is a lucky number too especially for the Chinese, hence 8/8/8 was a big day for marriages. Though to divorce in China its almost as easy as posting a registered letter. Then again half 8 is 4, and the sound of the word for 4 in Chinese is very similar to the sound of the word Death. So you may be very Lucky getting married on 8/8/8 and win the lottery with 8 in the numbers, but you won’t buy a beautiful house because its number 4. And yes we looked at a nice house but as it was no.4 we just could not buy it.

So Lucky and Numbers go together. In some countries the number 13 is not used in hotels or even in floor numbers. The 13^th floor may just not exist, or Lift Winding Gear is on that floor. Or maybe the entire supply of toilet paper lives on that floor. As for living, it was in number 13 that one of my neighbours died and was forgotten for a month. His name was Brian, death of Brian in no.13, 20 years ago.

So numbers can be Lucky and not so Lucky. Five may be your lucky number as that was the number of times you made love that night you finally found the love of your life. You were listening to the Beatles song, 8 days a week, but you managed 5 in a night, and then felt weak. Even though you wanted to go for 6 of the best. Speaking of 6 of the best one of our politicians has named his 6^th child Sextus, maybe he is a fan of the film Stardust I don’t know.

39 is special number because there were 39 steps, and nobody wants to admit to being 40 so they dance around the question of their age. I remember telling everybody at work I would not celebrate 40, so I took everybody out for a Chinese on my 39^th Birthday instead. The Chinese restaurant was happy, so 39 was a lucky number for them. Little did I know I’d end up marrying a Chinese girl from Shanghai.

Being 50 is the beginning of the end, you have gone past the 1/2 way point of your life. Bill Clinton made a speech about sunrises and sunsets when he was 50 I believe. It could have been a metaphor for something else, how would I know I am not a politician? Just a fat silver haired writer in shades from Birmingham England. Speaking of shades if I could find a large size wayfarer raybands then I’d feel very happy, size 65mm + at least. My last ones were unclaimed lost property from when I worked at the hotel, they lasted 10 years. When I was in Malta nearly 5 years ago I gave them to a very hard working black guy who was doing heavy labour at the hotel, the sun was going straight in his eyes.

We all have an eye for a bargain, there is a magic number that makes us buy things. Salesmen know this and marketing girls know it too. Nobody is impressed by 10% off, but 17% off or 25% off does tempt us. Numbers are like a striptease. 10% off is the man unbuttoning his shirt. 15% is throwing his tie away and opening a few buttons. 25% off is when the shirt is fully open, 30% off he throws his shirt away. 40% off he clicks his shoes off. And on it goes as the girls get more excited. Until finally it is the Full Monty, 75% off. There is a stampede the ladies knock the security guards over and all the elasticated toilet seat covers are gone. All the mix and match wallpaper is gone.

You don’t think I was talking about real men stripping for women do you? I was using a metaphor about prices. No man is worthy of objectification, not even if I plucked my eyebrows and shaved my back and even my belly. Though if I were 20 years, or even minutes younger I might have a few offers. Birmingham Medical School might be interested in my body, not for the Finals party, but because there is a shortage of cadavres.

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that's  my chest with by bypass scar