Fake News, You pick and Choose

Fake News, You Pick and Choose ©

By

Michael Casey

I stumbled over Nick Robinson in my Guardian today, what he was doing in my garden, probably stealing rhubarb, that Johnnie friend of his is a bit of a custard, they are a right pair of jokers, and they both wear ear muffs indoors. Strange People those Radio 4 types, 4 types of what you may well ask.

I had just finished my prayers, 6 visits to my church of ablutions, you get an extra grace if you sprinkle three times on the floor and use 1/2 a roll of paper a day. My CkD specialist told me that one, or was he just being funny, you can never tell with specialists, there are so full of long words.

I read in the Daily Snog, an online resource for students of New Media, ok its a scandal sheet published online, with the slops from TNZ, the kind of stuff that was locked up in that safe and never published in the News of the World. Anyway I read that Nick Robinson and that Scots fellow are really best friends, more than friends, they even finish each other’s sentences and they went on a cycling holiday to the Vatican on unicycles after they had finished their mountain climbing holiday in Holland. I think they are actually brothers separated at birth, yes really. It was in the Daily Snog in a column under how to breastfeed your boyfriend, a tip to get pregnant. No not in that column,in another column just under that one.

Playboy died I read it in Live News, its an online paper for undertakers, they have such a quirky sense of humour, so would you if you were dealing with cold dead people all day. A bit like Political Journalists interviewing Politicians, I suppose you are right, I’d have to ask my friends Julian and Sandy, they work on the Daily Rag. A Political Newspaper? No an online resource for Window Cleaners, or is it Anger Management? Anyway they have Radio4 on all the time, the button broke on their DAB Radio, so as they push the cart around cleaning windows they listen non stop. They once cleaned all the windows at the BBC, the things they saw you would not believe. Throwing darts at a Piers Morgan photo was a common feature.

I think I’ll read the Obit to Playboy in the Telegraph, they wouldn’t cover it in the Guardian, they are too pretentiously posh, I think its because they are all Virgins, or is it Vegans? They all wear sandals anyway. Was Nick Robinson’s piece in the Guardian? Yes, because his dad wears Clarks or was he a clerk. I cannot remember, who checks facts anyway, I’m not a journalist.

The BBC is so boring and biased, it was in a link I clicked on which was in FB,or somewhere, I just click and read, follow the amazing facts column then take a right click followed by a left then a right again, just past all the dating sites for Vegans and Guardian readers, or was it Virgins and Gardeners? Something about throwing seeds into furrows and a lot of tilling the land, or was that land girls and grandma? How cares, where was I? The print size is so small on the screen, how kids can read off their mobiles is beyond me. Anyway it said the BBC was biased, so it must be true. All the Politicians agree.

And on it goes, I hope Nick and the crew forgive me, and when the Scots guy gets back from his mountain climbing holiday in Holland he might split a bottle with his best friend Nick. And no not over the head, you are not launching a ship, you are celebrating friendship.

When I saw Steve Hewlett on tv I always thought he was a nice man and listened to his words. Quality really does count and a scholarship in his memory is a great idea. There is so much rubbish all over the place so we need to preserve, protect and defend quality News and Information. Is Mark Zuckerberg doing the same thing in USA, or is he just polishing his image ready for a run at the Presidency?

Sometimes the best position is influence, when you have the power you may not be up for the job, so influence is always better than power. So quality information or journalism is the best gift we can give to any population. Otherwise wolves in sheep’s clothing take over. Satire and Cartoons also have a place in Journalism, so Political Cartoonists should also be encouraged and given space. The joy of the Internet is that there is no lack of space, it’s the BBC’s job to lay the buffet table and they let people try what’s on offer.

As for me I have to get back in the kitchen and do the washing up before my wife gets home, otherwise you’ll be reading about a new surgical procedure , Wok removal from Anus, in the online magazine Blacksmith’s Son and Cutlery, the essential guide for BBC Producers…