Saturday, 9 September 2017

What am I allowed to say?

What am I allowed to say?
By
Michael Casey

I’m a bit tired but I want to write something new before the day is over, to have a chat, I could not think what to talk about for a while, I am a Postcard from Birmingham not Letter from America after all. Then as I was skimming the newspapers, I only read the interesting stuff, why waste my energy, some stuff isn’t worth my spit after all if I can misuse a Chinese expression. So I’ve decided to talk about What am I allowed to Say.

Kids or students are all so Politically Correct now, you cannot say this or say that because you are “attacking” somebody’s dignity. We even have a case in tonight’s news where somebody overheard a private conversation between 2 friends and reports it, so that one of them is sacked. The “victim” is not even asked about the “crime”, you can find it for yourselves in the newspapers.

In the living room my girls are watching Pitch Perfect again and I am listening to the music with half an ear. Do the cast stop acting and tap the tv screen and say I am insulting them by not giving the film my full attention? Do the politicians throw rotten vegetables through the tv screen at the general public for jeering them from the comfort of their sofas in front of those very tv screens? Life is a two way street after all.

When asked how I am I tend to say, “I’m still fat” am I not allowed to say that because I am impinging my own dignity. Americans or so it seems from this side of the Atlantic have an over valued sense of their own “dignity” and will sue for millions for “hurt dignity”. Though that is more likely because lawyers have too much influence in society. Or will I be classed as Un-American for saying that? McCarthyism at its worst?

Or am I not allowed to comment because I’m here in Birmingham, the real one, the one in England? Have I now offended everybody in the deep South because a lawyer would infer a slur on the dignity of the land of cotton, or is that another slur? The Brummie or Birmingham England accent is mocked by the rest of England, but we don’t sulk. If you want to hear my posh Brummie accent you can go to www.michaelgcasey.typepad.com and other places. I speak the way I do because I have listened to 20 years of BBC Radio 4, which is our PSB if I translate, or am I classed as being condescending for explaining? I spent 20 years from 8 to 28 listening to Radio4 constantly, and since then 30 years writing. I also have a Shanghai wife and if I did not speak clearly she would have never understood a word, and I would not have 2 daughters now. Both sound very clear posh English, like in American films where Americans fake the accent. And by voice only I cannot tell them apart on the phone, and I made them.

We all have jokes among friends and certain things we say and do amongst friends we don’t do outside the group. We are not destroying each others’ dignity, we are in the company of friends. I’m sure Navy Seals have nicknames for each other. I have a story ready in my head which features Navy Seals, the 69ers because they don’t give a golly gosh about the enemy, and golly gosh is what the enemy says when they are left in the rubble. Now I’ve used the term golly gosh as I don’t want the Navy Seals, the 69ers to blush, they are in acapella choir dressed as priests in my story, just before they take out some North Koreans who are about to kill a pregnant escapee. Or am I not allowed to upset North Koreans just in case they track me down to an airport. Or would I be accused of being airportist?

Give me Strength.

People are People and should be left alone to talk and laugh and joke with each other. You should be able to ask silly questions of each other without lawyers appearing on your shoulder like the Devil in a very old Tom and Jerry cartoon. Some things go without saying, so I’m not going to waste my spit on the obvious safeguards and tolerances. Yes we should and must look after the genuinely weak in society.

45 years ago and more a Down’s Syndrome boy was watching Aston Villa play football in Birmingham, he was being bullied by somebody. The lone bully was part of what was then called the Quinton Mob, obviously the boy was very upset, but the wrath of God soon saved him. Suddenly a teenager dropped the nut, or headbutted if you are American, on the bully. The Quinton Mob could have attacked the teenage, but the leader of the pack agreed with the teenager that his gang member had been out of order. So the Down’s Syndrome boy was left in peace to watch Aston Villa. Rough Justice or what? I’ll let the lawyers amongst you decide.





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Humour Writing by the fat silver haired writer in shades from Birmingham England read in 167 countries so far https://www.amazon.co.uk/Micha...