Twitter Me I Want to Be Famous ©
By Michael Casey
I just had a scan of the newspapers and what you notice most of all
are people selling their Soul in an attempt to be famous. Why do people
want to be 3rd rate Z List celebrities, Andy Warhol must be
cursing his luck in Heaven as everybody crowds the place out, how can he
do Cloud Art with the Angels if the place is overcrowded with the newly
dead 3rd rate Z listers. If you remember your Bettlejuice Heaven’s waiting room is overcrowded with people like that.
So why do people want this drug so much? Am I one of them? In my case
I only want my words to be famous, I have no desire to sell my soul.
Look at my chest I don’t wear a vest, look at my legs they go right up
to my bum. Look at my bum I’ve been injected with a barrel full of oil
to make my bum so large it almost explodes, just make sure you are not
standing directly behind me.
Look at the notches on my bedpost I’ve slept with 1000 men or was it
women I cannot tell the difference, because I am straight/gay/bio
whatever, or was it a robot in the bed, enough said. Westworld. And on
it goes, does anybody care or is it just so very very boring. The sexual
revolution was back in the 1960s, so now 50 years on to hear it all
over again as if this generation were the 1st to discover what was underneath the undergarments, is so very very BORING.
Celebrities are famous for being famous, everybody is a HERO now, I
put 5000 paperclips up my nose and I am in the Guinness book of records.
My brother put 7000 up his, up his, I can say but I won’t say, anyway
he is in the adult version of the Guinness book of records. It’s called
the Guinness with Whisky chaser book of records, with cross eyes.
People do stupid things to chase fame, then they put it on Twitter or
Facebook. Thousands of likes and repeats or whatever it is called
follow this, until you have 1,000,000 likes for a man who can fart fire
and light a candle on a birthday cake 10 feet away. And of course in
real life he is a fireman, so that makes it more interesting and his
mates hose him down every time, so they can share his fame.
Hashtag #fartingfiremanlightsbirthdaycake is an explosive hashtag,
and spreads like wildfire.
Then the next week obviously he dies while at
work saving a life of a child. So his Twitter goes wild and his
Facebook has a flaming bum with smoke spelling the work RIP rising from
his behind. Yes this really is the level we have reached. People just
want to be famous, now more than ever. Jade Goody would no doubt agree
with me, may she rest in peace.
So why the need to be famous or all over Twitter and Facebook. Is it a
weakness in the human spirit, Trivia being more important that Real
Life. If people live in that Bubble where Kylie being cheated on by her
toyboy is more important than the Manchester United results you have to
wonder what is going on in the world.
Now I just threw in the line about Man U to see what reaction I’d get
from you the reader, in India or Russia or USA or even here in UK, you
lot are a scattered group, my readers. Maybe you should have a Tee shirt
with michaelgcasey is the FAT Birmingham writer. Then you know what
would happen, some little Indian guy in Calcutta would make a fortune in
Tee shirts.
He could have a 2nd Tee with MichaelGCasey Calcutta is
the Last Word, and when people asked him what it meant he’d say it’s the
last word in The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker, whatever that
is.
Me I wouldn’t get a dime from it. He would storm Twitter and
Facebook, he would be the face of Michael Casey the Fat Birmingham
Writer, even though he’d be a little Indian and I’m the large fat silver
haired guy who looks like Santa after a visit to rehab to remove all
the HO HO HOs from my wherever they are.
Such is fame, the irony is my best friend is a little Indian guy from
Calcutta, who has a PhD in Biochemistry, with his help I no longer fart
fire. And on that note I’ll have a toilet break.
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