Alternative Medicine (c)
By
Michael Casey
Well
it's Saturday afternoon now, I've sat down to talk about Alternative
Medicine, but first of all let me close the window the draft will give
me a chill and then I'd really need some medicine. Justin is singing
with Taylor they are cross, no I don't mean cross, they are cross
harmonising, it's quite off putting, I just want to talk to you all then
I'll pop out to Mass, or go to the online Mass, while those two are
crying a river. Totoro our cat has appeared and is staring at me, when a
pussy stares even Ice Cube would melt. I've seen a couple of his films
on tv recently, he's a nice boy too, very good to his mother, although
with tinnitus I may have misheard the mother reference, I am getting
old now, though not in spirit.
Now what is Alternative Medicine? Can you guess, am I wasting time while I steal an idea from
down
the back of the sofa? Well what do you think? I just let Totoro out the
back door, Justin has started to sing Mirrors so pardon me while I put
the volume up to 17. Ice Cube is hanging out next to the fridge trying
to regain his cool after being stared at by my pussy Totoro. But where
was I, yes Alternative Medicine. I have to take meds, the doctors
insist, as does the wife as long as the life insurance is valid, when it
expires then that is another matter. And here in UK once you reach 60
your meds are FREE.
Life is about trying to avoid meds
in the first place, and how do you do that? You get up and DANCE with
Justin, or any old bloke who happens by, who will of course be so much
better a dancer than Justin Trudeau, sorry I mean Justin two left legs.
I don't want Canada to declare on me after all. Justin is crying in a
corner now, wait. I have to dance with him now to restore his self
confidence. You know an erotic dance like in Moulin Rouge, Roxanne I
think it was called, go watch the film and come to me in two hours or
so, but don't leave any popcorn on my carpet.
Justin is
all puffed out in a corner, you try dancing with a 248 pound man in
drag and having to throw the drag queen about from pillar to post. I am
quietly impress by Justin, he must have been working out. Not unless the
rumours are true, he's been putting stuffing in meat pies with Big
Bertha from the pie factory down the Old Kent Road, you know where they
have the Pie Monopoly.
If you can do the Lambeth Walk
every day then you will be happier and not need any meds, it is in fact
an alternative to meds. Life style is a dirty word, but Ice Cube insists
he is just acting, he really does sing in a choir, but so did Elvis in
Jail House Rock, or Hugh Grant in Paddington Two. If you can put on a
happy face and smile, or laugh in the face of adversity then you do have
a much happier life. Yes you may need a few pills, legal ones, but it's
the Alternative Medicine which makes a difference to you daily life. A
kiss and a hug from Mrs Douglas or Mrs McKenna on the Dudley road, now
both in their 90s. A smile from Sally, or a wink from the butcher, a
dirty laugh from the window cleaner high on his ladder. These are little
things that lighten the spirit.
The Singh brothers
battering a shop lifter with hockey sticks, you don't knock over their
grandfather and steal from their store ever. The daily tick and tock or
life. If you can keep your spirits raised even when things are sad and
heavy, like Barry White before he smiles and lifts the roof with his
voice and spirit. Then you will overcome all the pains of life, even if
you do bore your readers occasionally. If anybody has any complaints
me and Barry White will jump through your screen and sit on your lap and
play with your hair. Would that be 600 pounds between us?
Look
out the window and watch the weather, imagine that little old lady
suddenly hears Justin singing and just has to dance in the street. Like
the old ladies with carts dancing in The Producers. If you can use your
imagination to break the chains then you are free, you are always free,
your body may be old and broken but YOU and your SPIRIT is free.
This
is my Alternative to Medicine, use your spirit, free and lift your
mood, and even if parts of your body don't work so well at least in your
imagination they do. Justin stop singing like that, he's so naughty ,
he could tempt the Virgin Mary, him and his strawberry bubblegum,
whatever that means.
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