And what was the most stupid thing you ever did?

And what was the most stupid thing you ever did ? ©

By

Michael Casey

And what was the most stupid thing you ever did ? I just asked my kids as I waved 2 fingers at them. Why 2 fingers, well the reason for that relates to what was the most stupid thing I ever did. You see around Guy Fawkes night, when we have fireworks in UK, I actually held a banger and let it explode in my hand.  There was nothing at first and then a rush of heat and pain, and that’s why I only have 2 fingers left on one hand. Our dog Lassie ate the charcoaled digits, but after a day they came out her rear end and the vet or was it surgeon was able to reattach them. So, my fingers are very well travelled, exploded off my hand, eaten by a dog called Lassie and poohed out a day later, then reattached. And if that isn’t stupid then nothing is.

Though part of that tail or is it tale is a lie, which part? I did in fact hold a banger in my fist, encouraged by D, he knows who he is, and the banger did explode. Luckily my hand and my life were not damaged forever. The bit about a dog and pooh and a vet sewing back my digits I added for colour. So, this 4^th of July or whatever celebration you have do not even think of doing what I did.

I did it 50 years ago and more, before fireworks, or fire crackers as they are called in USA were more like ordinance that Marines use in conflict. So, don’t be crackers and ever even think of being as stupid as I was then. Or I’ll give you the finger, you’d only be able to give me one finger back in return, as all the rest of your digits will be blown off if ever you were as stupid as I was.

This was before I discovered books and fear of my Teacher Mr Gallagher, which led to be becoming a reader, and ultimately the Writer wagging his finger at you, and thank God I still have all of my fingers. So that was my confession, what do you want to confess? Or has the priest already battered you with an old Bible for being such a dirty little bastard, and banned you from church. So, you go off and regret your past, then years later you return to the church as a priest, and the old priest retires. You do of course hear the old priest’s confession and you in turn batter him with an old Bible, and call him a dirty bastard. Life is a  circle after all. And what was the old priest’s failing? It was your very own. He had got drunk on the altar wine when the big match was on tv, and a penalty shootout had taken place, so he drunk the altar wine, to celebrate.

And will God forgive, him and you? You are both priests now, and yes God will forgive 77 x 7 times.

But it’s always best if Stupidity is avoided, so think before you act, and wait till tomorrow, because a good decision is always best slept on. Though if it’s a girl, she’s best slept with, today, tomorrow and always. Especially if her pet name for you is STUPID.