Discovering TV

Discovering Tv (c)

By

Michael Casey

I’ve literally just seen Monk on TV, I don’t think I’ve ever seen it before, but one scene on a stage seemed familiar. So that in itself makes me wonder how or why we remember things. I did not remember any of the rest of the show, or have any memories triggered. So I’ve got something to watch now. It started in 2002 or so the guide says, it’s like a comedy Columbo meets Elementary. Which might indicated what makes me laugh, though I have very wide tastes, as wide as my hips. I binge watched my Korean K drama last night, too much in fact, as reading subtitle for hours is tiring. So rather than plunge into my next K drama I’ll be spending time with Monk, his assistant looks like a young Bet Milder, to my eyes anyway.

When we watch tv we like something that both interests and excites, like your boyfriend stripping badly for you, until you push him out of the way and you use the steam stripper on the walls. What did you think I was talking about? See you were ahead of yourself, good tv has to keep you guessing and have a few good twists and turns, with a surprise ending. Which goes back to stripping, what else can you both do when you are covered in wall paper paste and paint. You just have to strip off and tip toe not through the tulips, but through the house to the bathroom. Well if you’ve never done that before, I’m sure you will be doing that in future.

Preparation is everything after all, the rest I leave to you own imagination.

Now some tv, leaves nothing to the imagination. In USA it’s very staid on tv, compared to UK tv, hence in film it makes up for it bigtime, or so it used to be. For example when Saturday Night Fever came out there was lots of swearing in it. It was an X, 18 certificate in UK, I thought the cursing was overdone, later a 15 certificate was issued, and hence more people saw it, and the film made more money. You remember John Travolta walking down the street with the tin of paint in his hand, obviously he’d read this piece in advance, is it 40 years in advance, and was going to take my advice about decorating and stripping, or do you think I’m a liar, a pilot and liar, I won’t make jokes about cockpit.

There are elements in a show that interest an audience and writers try to keep the audience happy. In USA I’m told a team of writers write the show, and there is even a Laugher Maker Writer, who’ll come in and insert big laughs, for which he’s really well paid. But sitting around a table with others seems strange compared to the way Britain writes shows, a lone writer or a team of two. Not a gang of people writing. I’ve never tried writing with anybody, so it would be strange. I’d be constantly hurt by the barbs, so I’d rather write something and present it, then let them ruin it, kind of take the money and run. As if that would ever happen.

There are jokes, and running jokes, sponsored by Nike or Adidas or even Reebok, or am I joking? You can repeat a joke a few times and get away with it, or if you are clever, get a different laugh with the same material, as Eddie Izzard or Danny la Rue will explain if you ask them to. Dress material I meant, their material is well worn, because they use the wrong detergent in their washing machines. And yes I love a bit of Tan-gentle humour, as straight lines are boring, custard pie humour, which maybe Americans prefer.

Somebody just spat at the screen, it can’t have been at me, as I sit here naked and paint splattered with bits of wallpaper stuck to my Dave Allen style hair, and a silver dollar in my red garter belt. I’ve been practising my stripping, what else can a boy like me do on a fine Spring afternoon. I was watching Monk, but inspiration struck so I moved to the computer to share these few words with you all. Confused? If you’re not you must be reading too much or me already. Worried and Confused, they are the names of our Rottweilers, really, well it seemed like a good idea at the time, after Totoro our Ninja cat put them in their place.

So rambling is always good, it strengthens the legs, I really do have very strong thighs, if ever you see me naked and covered in paint, chocolate paint that is, you’ll soon agree, or maybe just run away. Rambling is a device, or vice, take you pick, which is used to bemuse as you lead people up that garden path, say hello to Gill with a G as you travel that path, she’s always there, well in my imagination. And as you follow the Comedy Path, you are diverted, there are always road works, so it’s a good job there is plenty of paper in the outside toilet. Or in plain English, any show is better if it has variety, and the unexpected, like Tales of the Unexpected years ago. You enjoy it more. It’s a bit like our local, Cock au Van, our local bona restaurant, you don’t know are you getting Michelin star stuff one day or food poisoning. It’s in an old truck turned into a building, copying those diners in USA. The Cock au Van branding, relates to truckers having a wee on the back tyre, michelin tyres of course, truckers do know quality after all.

As ever I could go on forever, but I need food just like the girl in my K drama who was forever hungry, Cinderella and the 4 Knights, I do love the happy endings and soaring music, which I sing along to in Korean. So I’m going to eat, so I hope you discover some nice shows for yourself during Lockdown times. Or you could try and read my 19 books on Amazon, or have a browse on my online stuff. How many of my stories would you like to see on tv? Silence, absolute SILENCE, I’ll cry if you treat me like that, and if you think a Korean girl crying breaks your heart, wait till you see me crying, I’ll drown you all, ha ha ha.