Stealing Ideas

Stealing Ideas ©

By

Michael Casey

I was just looking at the newspapers, I’m testing the Indy, and I think the Guardian is better,the layout seems wrong too on the Indy. I also read the DT and the DM daily as well as watching Sky and BBC and radio. Yes maybe I should have been a journalist, or does it just mean I’ve got too much time on my hands. Anyway there was a piece in the Indy about Plagiarism, so that’s why I’m talking about that today.

Obviously I don’t steal myself, I write too fast and furiously for any thought of that to even enter my head. As you know, each piece takes about an hour from after I decide what to write about. It’s like being blindfolded and then teleported into a story idea, I have to go with the flow. This way is not the way to write if you are virgin writers, doing a degree on Story Writing.God help us, doing a degree in writing stories, no degree will put IMAGINATION in your brain, you’ll end up writing for bastard advertising anyway.

I am available for that too by the way, I can be as conceited as the best of them, only even better. I’d do it for the fun, and the money, my daughter will be off to University after the summer. I need to recruit a Lesbian psychotic martial arts flat mate for her, and any income from writing happy clappy adverts would go towards that. I’m just an ordinary dad who wants his daughter to be happy and SAFE while she’s away from the rest of the family. I’m sure that idea has never been written of anywhere, or will I be sued by some American, or will Donald Trump tweet that he’s done more for Lesbian psychotic martial arts flat mates than any other President period.

The Donald does provide too much material, here’s going to create his own Thunderbirds and they will deny everything, starting with Global warming, and they will only save you if you are card carrying  Republicans. They still believe in WASP only, which means WAR ALWAYS give SERIOUS PROFITS, they don’t sell ice-cream to Eskimos, just Nuclear power stations to, but the rest you know, it’s a family business you know.  

The Cosa Nostra are planning to sue in the 9^th Circuit for stealing their business model, Mario Puzo burnt his new book on the BQ because reality in the Trump White House has far more twists and turns. Mario Puzo has joined the church, hearing Confessions may provide more source material for any new books. A horse’s head in your bed, boring so passe. Trump has burnt the constitution on his BQ, the Law itself has been shredded for compost.

Now what has all this got to do with Stealing Ideas? Well it’s the Reality that this Reality show President has turned the Presidency into. Hollywood is just recording everything, ready for the film in 3 parts, that will be filmed the day after election night. Trump will probably ask to play himself, though Alec Baldwin does a better job. Trump would sue too, because he’d say he wrote the script so he wants a percentage of the gross. Hollywood stole his ideas, his life period.

I was actually called a thief of ideas because my play Shoplife was so funny, I wrote it 30 years ago, and I met a writer in a bar in Harborne, where the rich Birmingham people live. So I used his note to wipe my arse. The play was later accepted for production by a professional theatre, though not finally produced. It used to cost 100K to get something on the stage, so to get backers to invest in an unknown is very very hard, I’m not Steven Fry after all. By the way one of my family worked in retail that’s where the ideas came from.

My book The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker was made up of true events I harvested along with my imagination, so that’s how that came about. I write very fast and I don’t rewrite, that’s too boring, I’d lose the will to live. Why do 13 redrafts, I’m not Jeffrey Archer, though he does have a Monet on his wall. I like writing where my mind explores and explodes. That’s why 2 hours of writing is like a 12 hour night shift, and yes I’ve done many 12 hour night shifts. That’s why I wouldn’t sit and spend a year writing another full length book. So my writing work method means I just could not copy even if I wanted to. However people are a jealous breed, so “you couldn’t have written that” has been know to have been said, as if I am the Elephant Man.

If you want to copy some of my writing then you could do this. Read by the yard, 100s of books. Listen to BBC Radio 4 for 20 years non stop, watch the News religiously. Watch everything, like a security guard, a good one, be nosy, ask what’s happening constantly. Grow up in a large Irish family with drunken lodgers. Work with a very frenetic bunch of lads doing night shifts in a city centre building. Do all this first, then when you are nearly 30 start writing. Take a year to actually learn to write. By practicing by writing stories in pencil on paper.

Then 30 years later you’ll be me. You’ll have readers all over the world reading translations of your stories on your websites, but still you are not making a cent. Somebody has to open that door, ability does not matter a damn, it’s opportunity. And then you’ll be accused of stealing ideas. If you write then write because it is in you. Would you sleep with Donald Trump to get ahead? I wouldn’t but if he was a Korean billionairess I might be tempted. So how true to your Art are you? Would you sell you soul or body to get published? In the end though words are all hot air, like a FART.

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