My Slippers

My Slippers ©

By Michael Casey

Well yesterday we looked at another house, sadly we have still not found our new home, it must be 6 months now since we started but only one house we felt deserved an offer, and sadly they did not want that offer. So I have nowhere new to put my slippers, when you are wearing your slippers you are at home and totally relaxed. I know Barry White never wore slippers he was a bare feet and fluffy carpet man, he’s singing in the background as I talk to you. My small daughter, 13 now, is a fan as she’s heard Barry sing so often for us.

But why do we wear slippers, because our mum will hit us with the broom stick if we dare ruin her new carpet. Or if you go to the East and I don’t mean Boston or NY, I mean to China and Japan there you take your shoes off at the door and wear slippers. We wear slippers all the time in our house too, mum, my wife, the witch from Shanghai as me and the girls call her, she insists that we wear slippers.

In fact when she’d been on holiday visiting Ma she’ll bring back all the free slippers that the hotel gives you on a daily basis. So she comes home with 20 pairs of white slippers, they are stashed in a bag in the panty under the stairs behind me. However on one trip the airline lost her bag of free slippers but 2 days later they turned up and were delivered to our house.

Slippers denote relaxation, no black formal shoes you wear in a hotel or an office, as I used to in days gone by. If you are wearing slippers you are at home and taking your ease as my dad called it. In my dad’s case size ten steel toe-caped boots, mum had to peel them off his feet due to the sweat from 10 hours in the steel works standing by the furnace. Then mum would use the wooden tongs she used in her manual washing machine to pull off dad’s socks.

Then she’s give him a bowl of water to wash his feet in, with a splash of Jeyes Fluid in it. Then dad would have his dinner using the back of a chair as a table so he could watch the tv news. After he’d always say it was good to wash your feet, no doubt Jesus and Veronica would agree with him. The washing up bowl was rinsed and was used to wash the dishes in after we’d all had the dinner. Then dad would put his slippers on.

Now decades later in my own home I wear slippers to save the carpets, and it so relaxing to wear slippers if you have been standing all day in a computer room or a hotel, or your law firm print room at sometimes 30 degrees. When you fired up all the printers in the print room it really was that hot, but the firm was really nice, Pinsent Masons Birmingham.

Now slippers get smelly over time, well if you have Casey feet they do, I did once evacuate an entire coach while on a school trip, but I’ve told you that story before. So what do you do when the slippers wear out or rather smell out, you throw them away, or leave them in the garden to frighten the foxes away, who’s territory is this, Michael Casey’s so stay away, it’s much easier that peeing all over your garden.

I have in the past used old shoes as slippers, if the sole is over worn and no good for outside use then just clean the sole and then use them as slippers in the home. A comfy shoe is a great thing after all, pure relaxation, if you have ever worked in a shop or if you are a Policeman then you’ll agree with me. Though why would a cop read my stuff?

Talking about pure relaxation, did you know that Sir Simon Rattle wears slippers when he conducts, I’ve seen it for myself. He was in Birmingham then he went to the Berlin Phil, so he’s not a Micky Mouse conductor, though Minnie may be upset to hear me say that. It took my ages to work out what conductors do, they are not trying to make candy floss with their stick, though I do think they would be good at it.  He is encouraging the orchestra to play the notes as they are in his head, it’s as simple as that. At the end he or a conductor rushes off stage for a quick 3 pints of Stella Artois or maybe Guinness before returning to acknowledge the applause.

Slippers are to keep us chilled, to have Barry White in our hearts. Though slippers can bring pain as I can attest from 1968 maybe, Mr Gallagher gave 4 of the best for not knowing my multiplication tables. The next time I knew them and to this day I am great at arithmetic. Once you are ever so relaxed and Barry White is doing his magic you can take off your slippers and roll in the fluffy carpet with the one you love and practice your multiplication tables, no slippers required.