Judging Characters not Appearances by Michael Casey (c)
It would be quicker to recite this before Arthritis gets me
So
a driver delivers and I give him banter
I say his clothes have shrunk
Tell his mother to change his washing powder
HE’s only reply I was NOT a comedian
My reply I am a Writer I put words in the mouth
of Comedians to do the work, I give them work
I carried on, he was CLASS 1 lorry driver
but he was not using his FULL ability
I said he should make friends with my neighbour
A CLASS ONE driver
I continued, Learn Spanish
WHY? was his reply
Remember I am being a pain in the backside to him
Because better FOOTBALL and you can drive all over the world
so he drove away, and apologies to him
HE just FAILED the 2 minute interview test
IF he were flexible with his CLASS ONE
he would work 2 weeks on, 2 weeks off
VERY hard work
BUT on his downtime
He could learn Spanish
need I saw more
SO my. new neighbour the CLASS ONE guy
who gives his MUM a fathers day Card on Father’s Day
ALready he is higher in my lIst
SO if I can persuade him to spend 15 mins a day
Just 15 mins a. day
HE can learn Spanish and the whole of South America is his
Think of the Football
Meanwhile a 2nd guy turned up, a mixed race guy with a white guy
they were moving in to a house
I shouted at him and he laughed
so immediately I like him
He was touching his dregs tied in a bun
a white guy was helping him move in
I made a few other jokes
His girlfriend was not his girl, it was his Aunty
so good looking and pretty and young looking
so I said read my book
they have met the worse in the street, ME
so things can only get better
On impulse I said do you do martial arts
I used to, I was one belt away from Black Belt
so one belt away is the clue
he seems like a nice boy
No, I’m not Larry Grayson
Character shows and his shone
THEN a tall white boy passed by
The one I discovered played Basket Ball for Birmingham
He had flowers for his girlfriend
So I told him the story of me meeting a Black Belt 6th Dan
on the street corner
and I had said you look butch, do Judo, I know what I’m talking about
BEFORE I knew who he was
So I finished by telling the tall boy
Learn Spanish , just 15 mins a day
While HE cooks for his girl
Then in his Gap year he could dance
the Tango in Buenos Aires
and the FOOTBALL too
I said I had relearnt my Spanish
25 years ago, after a gap of 25 years ago
so 50 years ago
he was impressed
But I said he’d only get into. Oxford
my brothers were Oxford and Cambridge
IF
you are inflexible
YOU never reach your Potential
and if Techies don;t hurry up
They will miss the Kerry Gold in front of them
Because I have not stopped learning
after 57 years in love with words
SO i can write this straight off
as I’ve just came in from being amazed
by Aunty Black Beauty
maybe she has a younger medical sister
who likes comedy WRITERS
never give up, cos if I can write
3.4 million words
Eventually Qatar may be quicker on the drawer
because they live on a Peninsula
Just like my mother
Cromane Lower Killorglin County Kerry Ireland
mum’s birthplace
I am a Benny Hill, Look alike with a PhD brain, but if you are shallow you will never see it, or do you prefer your emperors in new clothes, think about it……..57 years thinking shows if you bother to listen. . I need get off this hill
I've updated this 15th Sept 2024 I'm Michael Casey from Birmingham England, the fat silver haired writer in shades. Beware of Others with the EXACT SAME NAME, they are not me, and would not want to be me ... use Google UK to find me, otherwise Posh Americans pop up I've done loads of writing, about 3,000,000 Words worth over 36years now But before I started to write, I LISTENED to BBC Radio 4 for 20 years, from the age of 10 or younger Frank Brown our lodger, went back to County Tyrone and he gifted us his Bush Radio. He'd be nearly 102 now if he is still alive, so say a prayer for him 56 years in love with words, and I still look so dashing. I have a picture in the attic, just like Dorian Gray I've also had an interest in Politics for 56 years with my dad heckling the tv and Politicians. I almost immediately had a hit, a play called Shoplife was accepted but not finally produced by a Theatre. The Kenneth More Theatre, so thank them for sparing you all. This was back in 1989 yes, 35 years ago, the play was written in 1988. So since then I'm more than good enough, as a writer. Anything else..... I also ignore those who just cannot write, pick your own candidate I tend to write Comedy as I'd rather make you laugh than cry I have written over 2000 short pieces of writing, yes 2000 " (c) by Michael Casey" If you include "chats" 5000 samples, all told, the chats do NOT go into my books when I compile them. My first book ,a full length comedy/drama is The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker You can read translations of it here on this site Up to 20 different languages/translations have been read on the same day via this site, here on Wordpress look fo Translations Galore page, and more And in over 167 Countries world wide too so you have no excuse, find your own language and read The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker or Quick Stories or any other of the books in Translation on my Wordpress This proves to me that the humour does travel I have readers in over 167 countries now, just to repeat myself From Nepal to American Samoa and all places North South East and West Or its just a hit man on the run, or whatever Unknown Region Means It may also mean that only non English Speakers like my stuff Coverage but lacking penetration as marketing folks might say I did get 21,000 readers in 3 weeks for the Polish version of In Search of an Indian Princess. which is basically the final 3 chapters of The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker all by word of mouth. And 50,000 plus in Christmas week 2021 If you add up all the downloads from my Wordpress + 13,000 when somebody stole the file. I have had more copies than Boris Johnson's Churchill book distributed. Maybe 40,000 copies . Not made a penny from it, free downloads in multiple languages. Reverse Logic, if the world knows me, eventually somebody will pay me But in reality I'll be dead first, and then just 2 pennies to pay the ferryman is enough I've cut the Plaudits, you can read/decide for yourself As for my life, I was born in the shadow of a Brewery, I was a computer operator for a market research company into alcohol sales, 21 years altogether, StatsMR Call centre guy, like everybody once in their life I was also a Trainee Betting Shop Manager I was a concierge and 10 other roles at Crowne Plaza NEC Birmingham for 3 years. Spent 3 years at Pinsent Masons Law firm in Birmingham I even hid a copy of my comic novel "BBU" in the Law Library at Pinsent Masons, well just for a day.. I did a few other jobs too, working life in reverse so to speak and I was an Esol English teacher in an Islamic school, for a year, I knew I could teach. I got Excellent, Excellent and Exemplary on the external assessment, yes really And I asked them to pray for me at least once a day beside which I've had a Shanghai connection for 20+ years now, including 2 bilingual daughters and being a hausfrau a long time too, I'm a great dad, as I've had lots of time with my daughters I can always make somebody talk or laugh I believe my short stories could be used to teach English, just package them up correctly or App them Or a Tale a Day from Michael, a story telling App What else, I was brawn and brains, I used to be as strong as an Ox, now I just smell like one We have a cat called Totoro, my daughters wanted a pet I said they could have a dog if I died , or a cat if I had a heart attack. A few weeks after that in Jan 2015 I had an Unplanned Quadruple Heart Bypass , it was supposed to be a triple but it ended up a Quadruple, 33% extra free so to speak. Now with an add on Hernia, the size of your fist, pushing through my bypass scar, it hurts when I laugh, so don't make me laugh I also have arthritis and other hindrances that hobble my body and give me pain galore. But my mind is free, though having read my stories you may wish I didn't bother But I'll ignore you, and carry on regardless. I do get heckled by my own Tinnitus these past 5 years+, so I have music on all night long to drown it out. I sleep with Miley, Taylor, Eric Clapton and Will Young, maybe I should buy a bigger bed, or just get a better mattress. Tinnitus is a curse, just trust me I know, each day I wake up, Tinnitus SCREAMS at me for a full hour till it calms down or not at all, a merry go around of noise That's the end of the tidy version of my life To finish here's the list of my 20 books, so far:- 1.The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker 2.Shoplife 3.Essays and Plays 4.Blogs 2011 5.300 and Not OUT 6.Shorts 2013 7.More Shorts 2014 8.Quick Stories 9.Still Alive 2015 10.Undiscovered Words 2016 11.Still Smiling 2017 12.Altogether Now 13.New Horizons 14.14 Up 15.15 Down 16.Sweet Sixteen 17. 17 Again 18. 18 New Views 19. The Final Cut of the 19th Hole 20. 2020 Words 21. Fresh Fields, i decided was a better title, when the USA election is over I'll launch it 96,000 words so far I write bullet point stuff mainly now as Tinnitus stops me from getting in the zone to write, story stories. (c) by Michael Casey stuff though my bullet points are better than some "writers" discuss, miaow. That's why I dream of a speed typist, so I could dictate from the sofa https://www.amazon.co.uk/Michael-Casey/e/B00571G0YC to buy ebooks Loads of Korean and Arabic translations downloaded from my Wordpress, 1000s of them Quick Stories in Korean is a big hit. Maybe Kim in North Korea should read my books, instead of wasting his countries resources on what? Just keeping one person in power, him? Instead of joining the real world and opening a string on golf courses. That way we could get rid of Trump too. Into the sunset, as they play golf. Tears for a Butcher will be the sequel to BBU, and it too will be 600pages, however I really need a speed typist to put it down, while I sit and dictate like Barbara Cartland, and hopefully my speed typist would be impressed. we'd marry have half Korean kids, and form a Kpop band with our 4 new kids, with me as manager. my 2 daughters are at University now, so if you finally pay me, I can pass it on to them And yes this is more for my bucket list, as Tinnitus keeps me awake too much, 6 months of not sleeping till dawn is really killing me, it is the worse thing in my life ever, and I've had far to many horrible things. That's why I go the other direction and write comedy Michael Casey aka the fat silver haired writer in shades from Birmingham England https://2.gravatar.com/avatar/efda2dca0de5b9269191b7c8b0102473?s=400&d=mm View all posts by michaelgcasey
L
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: only a member of this blog may post a comment.
