Short stories from Birmingham PODAST TOO https://open.spotify.com/show/1wSSIExkhsR97u1jqj0iiR
Thursday, 6 April 2023
Stormy and Trump and my Mattress is gone
Stormy and Trump and my Mattress is gone
as you know I got a new mattress
I sleep my on right side because of my hernia in the middle of my chest
post quadruple heart bypass
before I was like a kebab rotating
so if 120 kilos in on the side
it is more pressure than two 60 kilo women on their back
surface area and all that
so 4 times the pressure maybe
hence new mattress
anyways as I always say I sleep with Taylor Swift and Will Young
Tinnitus and Music or I'd never sleep at all
So picture it in your imagination
They'll be happy tonight
New mattress and all that
In fact I have 2 mattresses on top of each other
As my original very expensive Dormeo
Broke and they refused to replace it
So I got a new one and threw Dormeo in the dustbin
the replacement was from a posh shop that only sells quality
I had said this would be the bed I'd die in
But it was too hard
So I got a mattress in a box
these expand when you piece the bag
That one has been on the other one for a few years
But now is tired, so would you be if 120k was sideways on you
So I manhandled and screamed and cursed and got it out the house
I was going to get rid of the hard one too, but I'd need 2 strong men to do it
I could have really hurt myself, remember hernia in the middle of my chest
So that one is outside for a day or two
I knew somebody would take it
150 quid just for a foam one like that
So, so Tuesday I dragged the new mattress on to my bed
Pulled the ripcord, well almost
unrolled and pierced
Then the vacuum packed mattress expanded like a life jacket in seconds
And yes it is so comfortable and was in a Sale 1/3 off
and review saids better than a 600 quid fancy one
Let it breath it said on the wrapper
You don't get the model and the 2 dogs in the photo
Anyway tonight
Just before Stormy Daniels was on TV
Piers Morgan interview on Talk TV
Owned by Murdoch I believe
I looked outside
And there are woods up the road and a Golf course too
The mattress from my bed was missing in action
Could it be Trump and Stormy were having a final swing
The Final Cut of the 19th Hole by Michael Casey is one of my books after all
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