Reading Books

 

Saturday, 20 March 2021

Reading Books

 

Reading Books ©

By Michael Casey

 

Ok, I’m full of snot and I should be lying down, but instead I’ll do a bit of writing like a clown. I just spotted the Russians are Coming, as the highest one day figure appeared. I did actually have dream and sat bolt upright in bed, and said “the Russians are Coming” then I went back to sleep, this was maybe 50 years ago when 3 or 4 of us brothers shared the same bedroom in the old family house. I mentioned the Russian search engine yesterday and I did email them, I’m shameless I’ll try and “Corrupt” anybody with my writing. I hope Google don’t get the hump, or my viewing figures might slump, just like my belly.

 

Though the Russians may not like two of my stories, The Spaceman and the Archangel story, though I think it’s great. Then the other story they might not like is I’m setting up a Band, where Putin, Trump, The Pope and The British PM become an Abba Tribute band. Apart from those two I hope the Russians love Stories too, wasn’t that a Sting or Billy Joel song. 2000 stories, perfect for cartoons and learning English with the son of a Kerry Blacksmith, that’s me.

 

Now that’s just the preamble, while I scramble my eggs. And rubbish rhythms are just a joke, while I stir the yolks. Reads like Lemony Snicket, and does he play cricket, Theresa  May or may not, she’s in the band, as she was the PM  when I wrote the story, but she’s still a Tory. Ok, I’ll cut the doggerel, or you’ll drown me at sea, Fisher, and do Germans bite, too much radio4 when I grew up, 20 years of that, before I took to the pen, and if I were a sheep you’d dip me in sheep dip, and leave me or corralled, I’m high enough already, just with Imagination. Then 33 years or writing, to make you all cross. 53 years in all, and I look so good looking, ok, shut it , frankly just shut it. Larry close that door there’s a draft right up my Spaghetti Junction. Now the past few sentences were for the pseuds-clever, who clog up radio4, so nobody else gets a chance, I am a Podcast now you know https://open.spotify.com/show/1wSSIExkhsR97u1jqj0iiR

 

Now where was I, just going around in circles, and they say you should have a circle in stories, I suppose it’s better than being far fetch like s))* from China. Which was an expression of my mother’s gone almost 25 years now, what it means is Beyond Belief, like me marrying a Shanghai girl. That kind of unbelievable, nothing bad about China, I don’t want 1,400,000 angry emails in my Junk mail, no pun intended. Chinese’s people might say “he’s from Birmingham” just as John Cleese used to say “ he’s from Barcelona” ok, enough said. By the way did I tell you , one of my brothers went to the same Cambridge college and John Cleese, where Michael was Winner, but nobody has filmed anything of mine yet. Maybe the Russians will be coming to film all 2000 of mine, who knows, just putin  a good word for me.

 

Now, what did I read when I was younger, well Fear is the Key by Alistair MacLean, is why I read. I was afraid of Mr Gallagher so I started reading to avoid his wrath, and that changed my life in the mid 1960s. I did read everything Alistair MacLean wrote too, staying up till 2am to finish one off, freezing in the downstairs living room before going to bed, central heating ws unheard of then. I read all the History on the bookshelf by my desk in classroom of Class One at primary school. For a time I was left to read alone at a big desk downstairs because I was so far ahead of the class, and no not social isolation. The Outline of History by H.G. Wells was one of the books I read. I still have it, I was given it as a leaving present from Primary School, and yes I really was Head Boy, or locker-upper to make sure nobody did damage in dinner times.

 

So all in all I read by the yard for a decade or two, then radio4 with plays and clever people speaking nicely, before Reginal accents were introduced, instead of BBC English. That’s probably why I speak the way I do, but I did have a Kerry mother whose strong accent we only noticed on the phone, when we eventually got a phone. As for dad he worked in The District Iron and Steel Brasshouse Lane Smethwick, in the heat of hell for 40 years, with Welshmen, so some though dad was Welsh, though he too was a Kerryman, Hello Dear How Are You, was what he used to say. Which proves how we all acquire our accents, over in the corner my small daughter is doing her French A Level homework, so that is full of accents too, or is it three.

 

So, on it goes reading, reading, reading, and when you get bigger it’s newspapers, so somebody introduced me to the Telegraph, then I started reading online newspapers too. The Guardian to balance the Telegraph and now a bit of Daily Mail too, though stars flashing their bits is boring, and I’d demand a double page spread, though a good double mattress would be more useful. Words are stories and they lead us everywhere, especially up the garden path, where Gill with a G is waiting to remind you Michael is Awful, but I do like him

.