Where is the ©
By
Michael Casey
I was wondering where,
where is, where is the, love, the words, the rhyme in things this morning as I
was waiting for the pain to ebb way. And what is the connection between Spirit
and Pain, or anything. Well I could have just watched Breakfast TV instead,
only I don’t get up that early after my nights of pain. So I’m thinking about
how the Spirit copes, as I’m listening to music on the radio, how your Attitude
is what really matters. Without Hope, you are soon dead. Dead in all senses of
the word. I’m wondering how many of you
have stopped reading now? You don’t like the serious pieces, you just want the
Custard Pies.
If I insert a joke I’ll
soon get your attention back, maybe gallows humour is the thing, Pardon Me I’m
the President perhaps? If you are going to die you may as well have a laugh as
you go. In a Carry On film I seem to remember as one guy faces the guillotine
he gets a letter and says put it in my pocket I’ll read it later. The point is
even at death’s door your spirit helps you along. And it is because you have a
Sunny Outlook, that you survive when everybody else gives in to sadness.
Positive or Negative outlook.
Personally I try and
think of everything, cover all the bases, hope for the best, but prepare for
the worse. Like carpet fitters refusing to move a few items of furniture, so
you have to find somebody else at short notice. Or if you work in a hotel you
can be a miserable person, or a positive person. You can do all the work, or
you can hide in a luggage room, does that remind you of anybody you know?
Sunny Demeanor who
happens to be Sunny Outlook’s first cousin is the best way to be in my opinion.
Or jolly as my mother used to call me as a child. You can be a victim or you
can fight. Tip if you are held hostage, fight, because they will probably kill
you anyway, if you fight you at least have half a chance, which is better than
none. However if you are Patty Hurst or from Stockholm you may have other
ideas.
Satire works too, go
watch Mel Brooks The Producers, and Springtime for Hitler song. So now it’s two
hours later, was I right? Of course I was, so don’t thank me, thank Mel Brooks.
I’ve made a fresh mug of coffee while you were all goose stepping, hello to my
Korean and North Korean readers. Which brings me to how do we smile through the
pain. In North Korea they just want food and decent tv, but how do they endure
while the madness goes on? Look at the Rose Garden at the White House yesterday
and you will have asked yourself the same thing.
It all goes back to,
putting on a happy face and smile smile smile, how did folks here in UK survive
back in WWII, it really was the back against the wall time? It all goes back to
Spirit. You can be in a super-max jail buried half a mile underground, but you
are still free, because of your spirit. The jailers are the prisoners. You
could pick Mandela as an example, then the corrupt politicians follow on from
him. Pick another place and another superhero. I could say the same with
Religion, how it starts Holy but is then corrupted by mortal men. Look at the
Catholic Church as just one example.
Now I could sidetrack
myself at this point, but I hope my readers are grown up enough to look in the
mirror and see wrongs, and also grown up enough to look in the mirror and
change, unlike Michael Jackson. So what makes a spirit special, where is the
love, where is the kindness? In my own case I would say it was poured into me
by my mum and dad. No I’m far from special, but I do claim I do know how to
write, or talk to you all.
A caring person, is not
Donald Trump checking has everybody got a drink, which is hostess stuff which
any of his hotel workers do every single day. A caring person genuinely cares,
which is different to photo opportunities. There is Love in their eyes, and
music in their spirit. The times I seen Shona people sing at Mass this is when
I’ve felt it first-hand.
Beggars in the street as a rule look lost, but
sometimes when you give them something to eat, you can see the spark reignite.
Like when the lady from the local store sneaks out with a mug of tea for the
beggar. You can see her spirit by her actions, though I know she’d be
embarrassed if I named her. So you can
see good spirits by their actions, and it is because they have this good inside
them that they can survive when bad times come.
Chronic pain, is a
curse, and you are all cursing because I’m not sharing any jokes today. When
you spend the nights unable to sleep, not until you are so exhausted that you
fall asleep. That is when a radio or some form of music is a life raft in the
darkness, or the BBC World Service. As you try and find a less painful place to
sleep in, your mind wanders. Sometimes Prayer comes along, and sometime saying
the Rosary does lead to sleep, as your mum used to say, say the Rosary if you
cannot sleep is what she used to say. However sometimes the pain is just too
much, here there and everywhere, which was a song, was it by Peter Paul and
Mary, or some other Evangelists?
Yes pain killers are
available, and the Pain Clinic can advise, but if you find you don’t like the
fizzing in your head if you take the Epilepsy pain killers, they discovered
they worked for pain too, so you have to stick to the paracetamol. Though a
super dose, of Epilepsy pain killers at night kind of works, but you still wake
every two hours, then in the morning 12 hours later you feel all drugged up. So
you abandon the Epilepsy pain killers. Not unless you want to join the Opioid
club, and lose your brain. So that’s my own personal Catch 22.
So that’s why I am the
way I am. You do have to fight with whatever strengthen you have, to keep your
spark lit, your hopes going. You have to do what you can do, you used to be
able to walk 5 miles without thinking about it. Now you have a rest in the bus
shelters as you go along. Some days you are fine, some minutes you are fine,
then with the sweep of the clock you are all pained up. Yes for me, it can be
like that, I wouldn’t say my spirit is special, but I do know if you have a
focus then you are not washed away with a Tsunami of pain or hopelessness.
Daytime tv, or watching
the world go by, shouting at the radio, find an outlet, make love to the
cleaning lady. Whatever gets you through the night, just do it. I noticed in
the Press yesterday something about you can die in 3 weeks if you give up. We
have all heard of Dying of a Broken Heart, I remember the look on my dad’s face
when my mother died, that was a broken heart. You have to fight, and curse and
howl at the moon, and I’ve seen many many moons because of my sleep patterns.
One step at a time, like the AA motto, how I can make this day count. Do what
you can do. Tiny steps are better than no steps.
I know it’s not easy, I
speak from experience, hard won experience I wish I never gained, and in some
things I have 50 years’ experience. You have to enjoy the small things, even
what most people would consider mundane. Look up at the clouds, see the shapes
they form, look at the stars at night, feel the wind on your cheek. You may be
stuck in your home, but your mind is not. You may be in a prison cell, but your
mind is not. You may be in a bad marriage and have a horrible job, or just hate
where you live. But in your mind you can anywhere you want to be, in your mind
you could even be in bed with me. Ok, a horror story finish, but the premise
holds true.
You are as happy as you
make yourself despite your weaknesses or failings, in your mind you are
floating in space, not in that super-max half a mile underground. Sometimes the
only super-max is in your mind, if you
can break through the pain, the lack of love, or the lack of hope, then you can
have a spiritual shelter inside yourself. I can only act as a signpost, a
battered signpost, showing you yourself, your own inner light of eternal hope.
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