1st Nov 2018

michaelgcasey Uncategorized 31/10/2018 0 Minutes

well the new house is nice, a few snagging issues. Otherwise very good. The new house is in actual fact 100 years old, it’s not a brand new house, and it is not the detached house in one picture online. I would need a lottery win to live there, and sadly i never win the lottery. A day without any pain is a lottery win for me. 2013 was the last year I’d say I was totally pain free.
anyway here’s some downloads you can read, they remain my copyright.

BBUMar2008.en.zh-CN (1)BBU in HebrewBBU in Arabic300 وBBU Russian Translation microsoft wordBBU in KOREANBBU GermanBBU French50 Spanish ExamplesKOREAN TRANSLATION Still Alive 2015The Polish TranslationsSpanish BBU아직도 살아있는 2015아직도 살아있는 2015아직도 살아있는 2015Altogether Now2016



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Totoro Strikes Out

Tuesday, 30 October 2018

Totoro Strikes Out

Totoro Strikes Out ©

By

Michael Casey

As you know Totoro is our Ninja cat, the girls got a cat because I made a promise and I never make promises, but I made one and I kept my word. I joked they could have a pet, a dog if I died and a cat if I had a heart attack. Then shortly after I made my promise I had my unplanned quadruple heart attack, I was told a triple, but 6 months later I was told it was 4 grafts. So the moral of the story is don’t make promises not unless you like cats. Though it was the old family dog who discovered my old house, by lifting his leg and only then were my eyes opened as my dog blessed the house. So I bought it. And that was half a lifetime ago.

So Totoro was brought up to the new house and quivered and hid under my daughters bed. So we took her home to the old house. Then we brought her back to the new house. After just 2 days we introduced her to her new garden, and then then let her out streetside. She is now full of confidence, she has a much bigger place to run around in, and she has used my bath as a toilet. Which is better than using the carpet.

She was let out of the back and was out for hours but we had no worries, she has the left hook of Ali’s and is a vermin hunter, she used to travel far and wide just to kill vermin. Through we would have preferred it if she did not return to leave them at our back door. But nobody not pussy is perfect.

So Totoro has been investigating the area, I went out in the street and saw in the distance a cat popping in and out of of front gardens. Then I realised it was our cat Totoro, so I jangled my keys and she came home running. So I rewarded her with food. Later I let her out the back door and let her disappear into the darkness. Cats have cats’ eyes so no worries for her safety, they glow in the dark.

We wonder where Totoro is, so we can have a stroke and cuddle, but for her this is a great big adventure, she can smell the woods, and imagine how may trees there are to climb. Besides she can smell vodka being made in the woods. Lech, Boris and Gregorgi are still in town, so Totoro pays a visit. She is a Ninja cat after all, and she likes to have a nip of vodka in her milk, only ninja cats can do this so NEVER give your pussy alcohol children, just in case your mum is reading this story to you.

So Totoro climbs a tree and launches herself into space, landing right in the still, luckily the heat was ebbing from it. Lech pulled Totoro out, and he swore Totoro was smiling, but it certainly killed any fleas that may have been hiding in her fur coat. Boris and Gregori gently wiped the fresh batch of vodka from her coat. Totoro thanked them by farting in their face, vokda makes Totoro fart, didn’t I mention that before. With that Totoro purred her goodbyes. Since moving to the new house she miaows all the time, and loudly too. As for Lech, Boris and Gregorgi they tried the fresh vodka and do you know what it was even better than ever. The fleas or no fleas, plus all the various seeds in Totoro’s fur coat had infused the still warm vodka. Though I don’t think distilleries will start  to employ ninja cats in the future.

Totoro came home and lay on her back on the cool kitchen floor, like a centrefold but with six nipples. She was happy, very happy, and she let me stroke her, I am the master as far as she is concerned. I feed her more often than anybody as I am always at home, boring you all with these stories. Feed a cat and have a friend for life. Though soon she will work out how to open her Whiskas, and then I’ll be abandoned and ignored. 

Then Totoro went upstairs to find a bed to lie on, and decided that at the top of the stairs was good enough. She was taking the high ground  with just her cats’ eyes visible in the darkness. A major health and safety problem for us using the stairs, but for Totoro she was happy to stay sprawled there, just like the centrefold with six nipples.

Then she slept. Today she was out for hours and came back with a cut on her ear and nose. No doubt introducing herself to the neighbours, cats or foxes I don’t know which. She is now being loved by my daughters. Totoro will be fine, she has Ali’s jab and already she can turn up at either the front or the back of the house. I also know she is getting fat, so she’s already stolen hearts from local children with her Puss in Boots looks, in fact she looks like Teresa May’s cat, the one outside no.10 Downing St.

I need my own milk now, so forgive me if I finish for tonight, Totoro is snoring at the top of the landing, dreaming of high diving from a tree in the woods into a vat of luke warm vodka.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Michael-Casey/e/B00571G0YC/ref=ntt_dp_epwbk_0

Another Tragic Repeat

Sunday, 28 October 2018

Another Tragic Repeat

I wrote this THREE years ago, and last night we had the obscene act, of yet another Mass Murder in USA. Jews at Prayer murdered by an idiot. 

We have had all manner of people murdered by idiots, all over the place in USA.

When will it end? Only when people bother to vote and control the weapons of murder. Placing weapons out of harms way is just the beginning. Educating Minds to Love One Another as Sister and Brother is the Only Way Forward.

The USA was born out of Hope and Love, and only by returning to that Mantra, can the USA and the wider world move forward. Love Thy Neighbour as Thy Self.

Jews and Christians, Muslims, Black and White and all shades of Brown in between, Straight and Gay and any Other Way. That is how USA must be.

now read the piece from 3 years ago and Think What Can I do to bring back the LOVE.

It’s My Right ©

By 

Michael Casey

It’s my right to own a gun, cos I’m a MAN

It’s my right to shoot and hunt and be a MAN

Cos I am a MAN and it’s my RIGHT

It’s my right to have enough ammo to invade Panama

It’s my right to have as many weapons as the Police Force

It’s my right to use my gun as I like

It’s my right to take my weapon to the Library and to Church

It’s my right to be  a MAN with a gun because I CAN

It was his right to go into a school and kill and maim

It was his right to go into a movie theatre and kill and maim

It was his right, it was his right, it was his right, it was his right

It was their right to scream in fear and pain, to piss their pants with fear

It was their right to die and go into the darkness of death because of his right

It was their right to have their bodies broken and brown away

It was their right to be dead and unrecognisable to their loved ones

It was their right to die before having even lived

It was their right to die without knowing why  

It was their right to die without even having time to cry

It was their right to die without even saying goodbye to mum and dad

It was his right to own a gun because he was a MAN it was his right

Now only the undertaker is busy, the undertaker is crying

The undertaker takes the bodies away, the undertaker takes the bodies away

The undertaker is crying, the undertaker is crying

The undertaker hasn’t got enough coffins, there are never enough coffins

The undertaker hasn’t got enough  coffins, there are never enough coffins

So which is more important the right to bear arms, or the right to bear a coffin

where my mum was born, that's where any Faith I have comes from

Chill House Casey

Chill House Casey ©

By

Michael Casey

Well I’m sat here on a Sunday, everything is set up so away I go. The chill is the Winter sticking it’s tongue out at us. We are settling in, Totoro spent her first full night Chez Casey, and true to habit woke me up in the middle of the night to be let out the window. However in this house I have no window to let her out of. So I have to put a dressing gown on and go downstairs and let her out the backdoor, so she sniffs the night air before leaping on the high fence. Claiming the High Ground, maybe she was in the Army in another life. If Jim Mathis had a cat no doubt Totoro would be it, a one woman killing machine, just rodents.

So I’ve had another nap in my shop window of a bedroom, everything on display but nothing for sale, nor past it’s sell by date. The pain levels have been off the scale in the night, so as the dawn chorus arrives sleep finally descends. Totoro wanted out so I let her out and had a drink of water while she tightrope walked the garden fences, sniffing the air, trying to work out how far away from home she was. First she was here then she was there just like Totoro in the studio Ghibli cartoons. My small daughter named her well. I stepped outside and my assets were frozen immediately, the cat has a fur coat, I have regrown my body hair 4 years on from being shaved prior to my bypass operation, but I could not accept the cold. So I just flashed my bare bum to the moon and went inside, there was a noise, a startled fox had just fallen off a back wall in disgust.

Totoro returned, she was happy enough, she’d scout the land later, and as for that Hound of the Baskervilles, she’d have him for breakfast, once she finished her ten hour sleep. In the middle of the night once sleep had engulfed me I went for a tinkle in the bathroom besides me. I wondered what the smell was, and no it was not me, despite my 3 hard boiled eggs. Totoro had left me message, no, not Totoro kills rodents so stay out of my new house. Something much more pungent, this cat had not sat on the mat. This cat had poohed in my bath. At least it was not on the carpet. So gluing the door shut I retreated or rather stumbled back to my bed. In the morning the children would pay the price for cat ownership, cleaning it’s bum. Practice for when they had real kids.

The kids beds have these storage drawers underneath, and for the cat, for Totoro that’s a nice warm environment. We thought she had gone AWOL, in fact she was on a Mathis Mission, SLEEP, stay low evade  enjoy pillows.Or a storage box under your owner’s bed.

My small daughter has been catching up on her films now that the Broadband is back to what it should be. We have yet to install the family tv, so it’s like a mini break from my normal glut of news. But like MacArthur I shall return. Mac Arthur is an even drunker bigger brother to Arthur the scrap metal dealer who lives down Skinner’s Lane, though Sinner’s Lane is a better description, I won’t elaborate. Jim Mathis might blush, or zoom his satellite to see if he can see me scaring foxes in my back garden in the middle of the night.

See I still sidetrack myself, it’s because I’m happy,and my best position is on my lap, no nothing to do with Korean lap dancers. I mean I enjoy writing with the keyboard on my lap. I do need a cushion to sit on though my chair is not as soft as before. Otherwise like an Oriental playing an ancient musical instrument I sit here talking to you with the keyboard spread over my knees. Draw you own cartoons, that’s why I call these conversations, Cartoons made from Words.

Justin is singing behind me, Mirror, I’ll wait till he finishes before I carry on,he’ll cry if I tell him to SHUT UP, Artist at work. He just put his tongue out at me, I’ll go to the fridge and get the frozen lettuce. If I slap his bare legs with it he’ll soon respect The Silver Haired One, as my Korean fans call me. Justin in time, he’s finishing, yuc there was a snail on that lettuce its slithering up his leg towards his naughty bits. That’s how Justin hits the high notes, a slippery snail meeting his big relatives.

So we are all chilled,not as chilled as that snail, but real chilled. We are all at home in our new HOME. Just in case Jim Mathis is a fan of my writing, Donald told me to tease you, so please just laugh, besides Donald said Micky Mouse and the Pluto were big fans too. Or have I just revealed the code names for the Langley top brass, oh Totoro. 

It feels like Christmas

Saturday, 27 October 2018

it feels like Christmas

it feels like Christmas in our house,
why, well the cat has come home and Totoro is sniffing around,we even took a chance and let her out in the new garden with my small daughter following closely behind.

my wife's christian take away friend gave us a microwave as a moving in present, so a big thank you to her. You could say it feels  a bit like Chinese New Year too.

all in all a very nice day. We even got a touch of snow too, christmas snowflakes.

my pain attack decided to pay a visit too, but that's part of my life too. I just hope I don't frighten my new neighbours when I scream.

The speed on the broadband seems to have picked up too, so all in all things are looking good, if only my reflection as just as appealing.

Some very far fetch places are reading my stuff lately so hello to all of you all over the world, from Korea to Honduras, to Serbia and Italy and Brazil, not forgetting Russia and USA, Canada.
Does our mother know you waste your time reading my rubbish?
By the way that sounds like a Queen song,  and somebody once said that 30 years ago I used to look like Freddy Mercury, ok, use your imagination. Now I'm just a George Clooney lookalike.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Michael-Casey/e/B00571G0YC/ref=ntt_dp_epwbk_0


time for painkillers and bed, I had hard boiled eggs for dinner, so that'll keep me warm in the night. Luckily I never smoke in bed....

at October 27, 2018

Snow Blind

Friday, 26 October 2018

Snow Blind

Snow Blind, well the new study is just so white, I'm half expecting to see a Japanese lady and a piano. I am a bloke in shades, no piano, but I do have a Shanghai lady.

I have to change my seating angel so I can look out the window and watch passers by. But the area is so much quieter,  only the man trap of a letter box makes noise, I thought it  was a present from the Slav cousins, they do look after me so well. Then went back to the woods sniggering when the boyfriend left the other day. Though the boyfriend did return to coach A level Maths mechanics to my daughter and a bit of GCSE stuff to my younger daughter.

Now I'm settling in to the new house, though the pain monster does keep me away for hours before I can   get to sleep, finally.

I spotted UAE reading my stuff so hello to them, I suppose they pitch tent, raise the solar panels before sitting down for tea or is it coffee? Then they read another of my tales, is that a punishment or a relief? God Bless them  anyway, all readers everywhere are most welcome. They get sandstorms which are blinding so they will understand the whiteout I'm getting here in my new study.

Taylor Swift is singing as I talk to you, I may steal her lipstick, a nice red will do wonders for me look as I shop down the High St, I am still really enjoying all the new music. I did do my first shopping test to the main shops, 10 mins all downhill. Then I took the bus back up the hill, I'm no Kate Bush, no running up hills for me. I did tell you my sister in law looks a bit like Kate Bush, though she does call me Babushka, or is that just because I look like an old woman?

If you are new to my writing, then google Joyce Grenfell  and Ronnie Corbett on occasions my writing style is like their bastard child. Just watch their monologues and all will be revealed.

Sorry for the pause I had to hang up my damp knickers, I brought the washing in but I needed to hang it up on our drier. In the olden days it went up to the ceiling, ours is just in the window by the back door. Then I thought of my UAE readers so I stopped for a coffee too. Though it might just  be a bored girl at a hotel reception,  and not Omar Sharif who is reading me.

Well I'll finish for now, I may write my 3rd new house piece later, that's if the pain monster does not grab me by the Ghoulies, it's Halloween  Party night for kids over here.

TTFN

Michael Casey

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Michael-Casey/e/B00571G0YC/ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1?qid=1540463813&sr=1-1

Frightening the Boyfriend

Frightening the Boyfriend ©

By

Michael Casey

Well to the sound of the vacuum noising upstairs and floating shelves floating along the wall I begin my 2^nd at the kitchen table story. We’ve just had take away from Louise’s which is no long Louise’s in fact its the 3^rd over over 20 years. And yes this owner is from Chinese church and of course knows the wife, who is world famous amongst the Birmingham Chinese community, even if they only saw her once 10 years ago. I am married to the Chinese Marilyn Monroe equivalent, once seen always remembered.

The “boyfriend” is scared of her, and he decided to invite himself to the new place, to see me too. Afterwards he confided in my daughter that he thought I was scary. Moi scary, je protest. As I sharpen my carving knives. Lech, Boris and Gregorgi phoned to offer support and advice. Just sharpen your knives is what they suggested. Only we still only have plastic cutlery in the house as we are slow moving, not Dday moving into gthe new place. But the Cousins gave good advice, so as the boyfriend arrived I looked up from the kitchen table, my knives, my plastic knives scattered all about me.

Yes, I said with my best Jack Nicholson from The Shining look, this threw the boyfriend, as intended. My daughter just hid her smile, she knew this would happen. I’m he began but I halted him before he could reveal his name, I know who you are and I know what you are and I know what you want. The boy nervously played with his hair, like a K-Pop star. You want to be a Dentist, the boy flashed his smile, a smile full of braces, if he wants to be a Dentist he’d have to look the part. Perfect Teeth.

He was relieved, that was intended so I could take him while he thought he was on safe ground. I whittled away at my plastic knives. I ignored him again, I wanted to see had he a sense of humour, dark humour certainly but if he wanted any connection to us, then he’d need a sense of humour.

My daughter suppressed a laugh and started to hop from one leg to another, as if desperate for a pee. Then she dashed away, she really did need a pee. The boyfriend was all alone with me, fear gripped his face, he preen his hair, he really was auditioning for a K-Pop band, would K-Pop save the the world, or just his braced teeth world. Dentist to K-Pop stars, now that would be an Ultra Bright future.

My daughter reappeared laughing as only a Chinese-Irish girl can do, can do, and will do. And yes the Dos are are Chinese cousins too. The Dentist was confused, he wanted to run, he wanted to hide. But there is no hiding place in our kitchen, especially if I want the toilet. You are so stupid my daughter laughed. I thought he was going to kill me replied the boyfriend, as he stood head bowed as he nervously, but still preening his K-Pop hair.

WE like films, I explained, and then I told him of Lech, Boris and Gregorgi’s advice and of The Shining. The boyfriend then explained he’d never heard of The Shining. I groaned, I bet he’s never heard of Barry Norman either. Barry, now I know about him, he’s the Political Journalist on the BBC Dateline BBC show. Now he is very good. But then we had something in common, I liked the Dateline BBC London show too. And Barry and the crew of International journalists.

So the Dentist now preened his hair confidently, so I jumped up and the floor moved and I sung Gangham Style without any warning. Again my daughter ran for the toilet. I had to test the boyfriend’s sense of the surreal. He finally got it and grabbed a hairbrush and sung not like a K-Pop star, but like Elvis, but one now covered with my Dandruff.

My daughter reappeared, she’d escort the dandruff covered Elvis to the chip shop. The boyfriend almost smiled, I stopped him and said, in films they say if you hurt my daughter I’ll kill you. I gave him my best, my very best Jack Nicholson stare from the Shining. I held out a plastic knife he flinched, it’s for your chips, I explained. But inwardly the maker had been put down, nobody hurts my Princess.

Then Lech, Boris and Gregorgi laughed from behind the living room curtain, those Slavs wanted to see the Dad Show, so they had sneaked in after making vodka in the woods. To the Dentist, welcome to the Family.