Foregiveness

Forgiveness ©

By

Michael Casey

I wanted to write something new today as I’ve skipped a few days due to the pain monster. So I hadn’t thought what to write, sorry talk to you about. I’ve just seen the end of the Johnny Cash film so when it finished I thought there’s a theme, forgiveness.There’s all kinds of forgiveness, and I’ll see where the words take me, so if you are sitting comfortably, or if you have finished that bottle of vodka Boris then I’ll begin, can’t you put something else in your mouth?

Now on a point of comedy I don’t need to say any more to Boris, as if I said this or that you’d all think of the other, so sometimes you don’t even need to say one word as the audience or the reader is ahead of you,or with you. Which reminds me of an old Les Dawson joke, but you can google and Utube him for yourselves. Les was my size but wider and not as tall, if that’s not a contradiction in terms, and sometimes he was dressed as an ugly woman forever rearranging her bussoms, in the best Panto tradition. So forgive me for sidetracking myself.

Now I’ve taken off my mother’s old clothes and am sat naked here talking to you via the computer, luckily I have no camera or you will all be sick over your screens. This is the joy of radio comedy, you have this mental picture in your mind which is always far better than a tv image. So do you forgive me?

How many times do you forgive your girl for cheating with the milkman or the postman, until it is you having the special delivery 9 months later? Are girls not allowed to cheat? Men cheat but girls cannot, that’s the rule, men are in charge after all. Is that what you believe? See I’m asking you to question yourself and your beliefs. This culture is better than that culture and so on. Or do you think we are all naked and equal before God, that’s if you believe in any God.

See I was almost serious for a sentence, but you prefer the comedy so I’ll ask you to follow me down the garden path, past Gill from Stats MR my old university of mirth. You will forgive some but not others, why is that Because of the twinkle in their eye, like Jim I know, his twinkle allowed him to get away with a lot more that the average person. Or that girl’s smile would melt any heart and allow her to get away with blue murder.

I’ll never forgive those bastards they drunk the last of the milk in the staff fridge. I’ll cut their balls off. Obviously she didn’t, she just peed in the milk bottle and left it there for the night shift crowd to find. The next morning there was a note on the fridge from the night shift. An apology? NO. Just a question, where could they buy such delicious milk again. So she did the same trick, left her pee in the fridge, and again a similar note the next day. This went on for a week. Till finally a clear blue pregnancy test was glued to the fridge door. Congratulations you are pregnant.

Did she forgive the prankster? She stopped overnight to confront him, only he had such a twinkle they ended up making love in the paper store. And yes then she really was clear blue, but she did forgive him.

My brother actually did do something similar, he peed in the bottom of the old glass pop bottles, because he knew I always drunk the dregs. I suppose it was his revenge for me putting a red hot poker on his leg, other that that we were very close, well close enough to put a poker on his leg. At least he did not do an Edward II on me.

Forgiveness comes in many forms, big and small. After wars great forgiveness is needed, political movements are needed, and the EU began as a effort to heal the divisions on the European continent. Though now some would say the EU hates the UK for being the child that says the Emperor is naked. And will never forgive us for breaking up the party. Though History tells us that nothing lasts forever.

I shoved in a serious paragraph to get you thinking. I’ll finish for tonight with the most obvious of statements. The person you need to forgive the most is yourself. Look in the mirror and change if you like. We all need to let go and forgive. I did not say the right thing today, or yesterday or these past few years. People misunderstand me and I’m too old and tired and sick to waste my time explaining things. Why is the world so fast nowadays.Nobody listens.

We can only do our best, and each new dawn, whether or not we watch from the night shift window over the Blues ground for 14 years or just a random morning when we get up early for a pee, each  dawn gives us a chance to forgive ourselves and everybody we meet. Without forgiveness we have a cancer inside us, like rotten cheese we forgot to take out of our shopping bag. We look high and low for the stink but cannot find it, finally its in the back of an old cupboard. And yes 25 years ago I really did have a rotten cheese in a bag, really no metaphor.

So laugh at Michael Casey the fat silver haired writer in shades from Birmingham England. If you are laughing at this now wherever in the world you are then you have Forgiven me my Trespasses. If you you can forgive me the stupid writer then you can forgive yourselves. Then Boris and Doris can stop leaving pee in the fridge, and make love and babies, but please get a room you are squashing all the paper, how can I write stories on squashed paper?