Science Fiction

Science Fiction ©

By

Michael Casey

As promised here is a story about science fiction, though you know there will be a twist, a la Beatles, sing and shout and let it all out. If you were listening yesterday or whenever then you have heard me say, “Suddenly from out of Nowhere” it was a line from a story I wrote in Primary school, I cannot remember did it earn me the 1969 Brooke Bond schools’ story writing award, it may have been a 3^rd. Yes I can see the humour in what I write, it is intentional, I don’t just throw this together, I am no potter throwing things on his wheel. Don’t get me sidetracking into manipulation of my clay, stop, that’s enough for the Borises out there. And by the way Brooke Bond, if you don’t immediately restart this competition with lap tops as prizes then I’ll mention a different brand of tea.

Suddenly from out of nowhere it appeared a man with a pole through his head, a 6 feet pole sticking out of his head. I even remember doing a crayon drawing it may be upstairs in the rubbish room, the box room. Though if ever we do move house that’ll probably end up in the rubbish skip, which would be a pity as I like to save things. Yes the biggest things I save are memories, there are some tragic memories that have been vaporized, and others buried in pain, but there is a reason why I choose to write comedy, or my attempts at it.

So where shall I go with this story? Ok let’s pick it up and run with it. Suddenly from out of nowhere I appear with this pole sticking through my head, and what does this kid, this school head boy, what does he do? He abandons me for 50 years, so I’m locked in a tube with only Walt Disney’s body for company. If I hear zibby zobby zoo again I’ll kill somebody. I had Mr Muscles in the tube next door saying he’d sort things. I think he had just lost his rocks or something. So I pulled my pole out and hit his tank as hard as I could, that shut him up for a few years. He kept on humming Eye of the Tiger then, whatever that is, I think it’s some Shakespeare thing. Will was in a tank further along. He kept on belching all the time, he said it was Sir Toby’s fault not his.

Now I’m out, Michael Casey Spacy has released me, no Michael Casey is nor Kevin Spacy or anything like that. Rixy called him Spacy once so now he’s sticking it in a story, he refuses to waste a word, he’s like a garbage disposal machine. Or an Alexei Sayle as they say at the Fringe, the barbers up the road next to the cobblers opposite the butchers.

So what does Casey do when he sees me and my pole, he takes me to the Polish shop to get some bread and meat. He says I must be hungry after 50 years. So I had some food and I belched, better than Toby, more like Falstaff, but my pole is bigger than his staff.

Casey asks me have I heard of Star Trek, I told him I was stuck in a tank with my pole covered in ice. So then he makes me spend a week watching all the episodes ever, not just of Star Trek but also all the follow on. 7 of 9 was impressive, but after 50 years stuck in a frozen tank you’d be just as blue.

He asks me what the pole was for, I just looked at him, it was his story I’m a piece of his imagination. Maybe it was a wooden aerial I answered sarcastically, so he gets out some sandpaper and rubs it down, he says I’ll get better reception. Then he says he’ll take me to a pool, only its not a pool, its pool, as in snooker or something to do with coloured balls. Though the sight of all those coloured balls bouncing over the green baize makes me home sick. If you look west in the night sky you can see my home planet.

My home planet is called Muckerulla its a place where you can fish for all manner of things, and we have many moons of different colours, just like the balls on a snooker table. Watching that Casey getting his hands stuck in those pockets made me so sad and mad. So I used my pole to snooker his balls into pockets.

And that was how I got back to the beauty of Muckerulla, Michael Casey the fat silver haired writer in shades from Birmingham was in such pain after I snookered is balls with my pole that his imagination exploded, he could not contain me any more. This figment of his imagination from 50 years ago was no figment at all, I really was a Spaceman who came a traveling, I came as far as Birmingham and this Casey trapped me on a page by drawing my image. Its taken me 50 years to escape but I did it, now you all know what a pole is for. It’s the original Beam me up Scotty teleport, like a fireman’s pole in reverse, your pole takes you away from danger.