Sunday, 30 April 2017

Redemption

Redemption ©

By Michael Casey

The neighbours are noisy again dad. I know they are just like children showing off, or having a party while mum and dad are out. Why are they like that though? Because their parents are modern, and don’t want to put them over their knee and pull down their pants and slap their bare arse. Didn’t that happen to Michael Casey when he was four for ringing Mrs Patrick’s doorbell and running away. Yes, and even though he hid in the Pantry his on mother meted out the penalty. And he still remembers it 50years plus later.

Why don’t you go next door and do the same to our neighbours dad? I am tempted, but it would be such a shock for them, you know me in my position, lowering myself to their level. But they are so noisy dad, and all the neighbours on the block would thank you. I am not the bully on the block, people don’t even know that you and me exist, we are so quiet after all, you could almost say we are undercover.

Dad, the neighbours are at it again, even the Wembley crowd for the boxing last night weren’t as noisy, I really think you should go around and say a few words. But even if I did they’d be at it again as soon as my back was turned. You could say you ae a very important person and that you have friends in high places. They may shut up then, they really are making so much noise and upsetting the whole neighbourhood.

Thanks dad, they’re not making so much noise now I can get on with my homework, I want to be a Doctor after all. A Doctor or What? I haven’t decided yet, I may even become a Professor just like you dad. Dad glows with pride. I have made them quieten down, I was naughty I messed with their power supply. Like you did before? Yes, but don’t tell your mum or she’ll kill me.

The noise drops, but it soon returns. Dad looks at his child working hard at his books, he looks skyward and mutters, give me strength. Son, I have to do something now, forgive me, but the noisy kid on the block really does have to realise now he is just a nothing, less than nothing. Please forgive me Son, I’ll make it up to you.

So like a Navy Seal the Alien ascends from the ocean floor, he has been observing planet Earth for millions of years. Now North Korea has been behaving like a bully on the block with the noisy disco party. All the neigbours are upset and afraid. Only an Alien has the power to shut him down. 

Standing by Kim’s bed the Alien whispers in his ear. Disarm and go live in Switzerland again and eat Camembert again. Korea should reunite, and as for all your toys, your noisy toys that fly in the night sky. Who do you think has been switching them off? Or do you want a massive earthquake to destroy North Korea? The choice is yours, my patience is over, and no this is not a dream thanks to too much cheese.

The Alien enters Kim’s mind and puts the fear of God into him, frozen with fear that lasts forever, there is no end to time in your mind. The Alien walks away, as he does every missile Kim has in his toy cupboard explodes.

Dad does this mean we have to leave now? Yes, I’m afraid it does, I did promise Jesus never to reveal myself as humans would not be able to grasp the idea of Aliens as they call us. 

And how did you meet Jesus, dad?

 I helped him carry his cross to Calvary.


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