Short stories from Birmingham readers in 162 countries so far HEAR ME READ ALOUD 207 stories written & read by me https://profile.typepad.com/michaelgcasey https://michaelgcasey.typepad.com/blog/
Monday, 16 October 2023
A Day out, or a visit to the hospital
A Day out, or a visit to the hospital (c)
By Michael Casey
Well I had a regular check up at the hospital to see how to see how my Kidneys are
Got a taxi to the QE, its too far to walk to get the bus in the cold
So I had a Pakistani driver take me there
We got talking about cars, of all things
I was all layered up, so I needed help getting the seat belt over my bulk and hernia
I am 120kilos too, so without a seat belt I'd kill the driver if I was sent flying
Buckle UP
It used to be Clunk Click, with Jimmy Savile
you can google him for a horror story
I was early at the QE but I did have Neem in my pocket
Just in case it kicked off badly
They had 2 Annie dummies in the Foyer
So I asked was it still called Annie
The Guy running the demo with his female colleague explained
that the Annie came from a girl fished out of the river in France
a death mask, a Jane Doe
I do first aid certificate 20 years ago with an Annie dummy
and 20 years before that, 40 years ago, I had real life practice
our neighbour died on me
he was a lodger in fact, I was still 20
Then I bought some sweets for the lady at the clinic
the one who hands out the bottle you pee into
I did take a photo of my sample to stick on the family group chat
Then you have BP and height weight
Then you see the consultant
an indian lady in a spotted dress today
Last Time I had an actual Professor, the top guy in uk, goes to Europe too
so they suffer having to put up with me
then you give blood
the male blood guy looks like Jack Black
the lady who took mine was a wonderful Ugandan lady
we shared a joke, then than was me finished
so I went and had a meal deal, which seemed expensive
but was very nice
I sat next to a guy and we got talking
how Birmingham City Councillors had wasted OUR money
and are selling off trophy assets
WE touched on Agency nurses earning the earth
If you saved on the Agency fees, there would be far more money
As we talked he revealed he was on Dialysis
So I asked what was it was like
Hopefully, I can avoid it for a few more years
but I am in the danger zone
Tinnitus, Migraines, Arhritis, CKd 20 time a day ,
Quadruple heart Bypass nearly 9 years ago
Hernia the size of your fist in middle of my chest,
which means I cannot carry heavy stuff
and a hairy back that would put a silver back gorilla to shame
This is me, ever so sexy
So I thanked the man, and went on my way
I finished my cheese and onion crisps at the bus stop outside
I discovered a different bus home, it took 3 buses and walk to get back home
On the 2nd bus, a beautiful African girl, pushing a white guy in a wheel chair
and wearing boxing gloves
The bus filled up with school kids
So when it was time to get off I had to use my VOICE
I have worked at a Hotel so I know how to Shout
I'm fat I'm 120kilos Get out of the way for the Lady and the Chair
Don't just stand there, move 2 metres back
The beautifully dressed Jamaican bus driver had dropped the draw bridge down already
So God Bless all of them
So I toddled off down the road, tired out and holding ny hernia
Cold weather and walking and not very good for me
Outside of a shop, 3 kids had set up a charity stand
An almost 2 metre Black kid in a long coat
with his head wrapped in a scarf like a pirate
accosted me
He said he like me shades
So I said tell me a story and you can have them
So we bantered and then I had to go
He asked did I need a drink of water
I said I was fine, I did go into Subway nearby
As for him he has my shades, But God Bless him and his charity collecting
In subway, the girl could not understand my accent]
So I sat and caught my breath after telling her to Marry
the boy coming in, looking for he attention
he used to work there, I told her to demand proper
Italian food, and go on a date with him
At a table a lady fatter than me was arguing on a phone
About a delivery
I walked down the road to my 3rd bus stop
and the bus was there and it even waited for me
The pakistani kid driving it look so smart
As if he'd stopped placing snooker on tv
to drive a bus for people
then I walked final bit home
and that was the end of my journey and my day
SO taxi driver I hope you encourage your kids to listen to Radio 4
And Uganda lady, this is how you write
You put it down simply, and write it up
Load it up on KDP Amazon and then you have a book online
You can even add your own picture on the front
See lady Uganda it's as simple as this in front of you
Just follow your nose
20 years of Radio 4 listening first
1 year of writing to Qualify, so to speak
then 35 years of Practice
Is that 55 or 56 years
Then you can BORE. everybody and say you are a writer
Michael Casey the fat silver haired writer in shades from Birmingham England
20 book on Amazon now
2 to 3 million words written
And nobody wants to pay for it
But at least Singapore Loves my words especially
Maybe they are blind
If they really saw me, they would run far far away
Miss Uganda you can DO it, if I can then ANYBODY can
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and yes EVERYBODY, pray for Peace Everywhere,
A Day out, or a visit to the hospital
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