Exam Guidance Summer 2023

Tuesday, 2 May 2023

Exam Guidance Summer 2023

Exam Guidance Summer 2023 (c)

By Michael Casey

Well the big exams are here for my big daughter, who looks the image of me, when I was a kid.

Not now, luckily, now bushy eyebrows like a werewolf, and a mane of silver hair.

She did tell me to go to the barbers incidentally.

So what advice do I have for her, and any of yours doing Finals?

Well my dad said to me, "Michael, I have no education, do what you like, but do your best."

My dad was a clever man who went to work at 14, back in 1930s Ireland everybody did.

So what do I say to my 2 daughters.

I say take it steady, take it easy.

The questions should not make you afraid, you revise and you answer what comes up.

My BioChem daughter showed me a chart, a start chart, a horoscope almost to my eyes.

It was about different Cancers

So I just looked at it over the internet and said

A horoscope can be an indicator, or a pointer, but it's not all in the stars

Unlike the comedy I wrote , It's all in the Stars, from 25 years ago, but I digress

So the cancer will not come if you mix this with that, or the length of exposure

A  virgo and an aquarius won't end in something fishy

Using mixed metaphors of how it seems to me

A totally uneducated in Science person

But if you think of things from a Writer's perspective 

Then I think it can give you insight into what you are doing

The answer will come out when the Paper is marked

And yes the only paper of mine marked, is toilet paper

Hopefully I hope my daughter can use some of what I say

Which reminds me in Czech in 1998 you have to pay for toilet paper

and a lady only gives a few sheets, and you are supposed to tip her

My only tip would be, my pile is radioactive in cubicle three

so fetch the Jeyes Fluid, and ventilate

Back to exams, have a supply of chocolate, or nuts or other treats ready

So as you study, you reward yourself

And go to bed and get enough fresh air

My girls study 10 hours a day, I have to hunt them to bed

But check in with your daughters and sons, if you have sons

Talk to your kids, some parents don't

Dad time is good,  if not for them exactly, but it distracts them

So they don't brain freeze

Tell them don't be afraid what may or may not come up

Hopefully, they have covered everything

and with daughters COVER EVERYTHING

But back to Studying

What will be, will be, so just think of it as another day at the office

Or wiping Granny's behind and wheeling her into the garden

Your kids have done all the studying

So now the Final exam even if it's 4 hours of BioChem

It's just a Banquet

READ THE QUESTION

then pick it apart, and stack up the evidence on your plate

ON you essay written on screen, or on paper

If you've ever worked in a hotel, and I did 3 years worth

Every day is a box of chocolate

So an exam is just the same, just pick your teeth as you go along

And PAUSE to think

Then you'll wipe the table clean

You have sampled and explained everything

Nothing to fear, the Rosary has been in Top Gear

while you do the paper, you dad and All Saints

have been there beside you, cheering you along

Besides, Padre Pio himself has been roped in

To mark all the questions for you

So Relax, just do it, and you won't go far wrong

And as for the Future, amazing happens

when you don't expect it

Smile, now brush those teeth

And do go to the toilet

after 4 hours doing a Paper

Explosions can happen, so bring your own Roll

and as you sit and pooh

Just think Dad, was right

If only this was in a room with a View

and not just a 4 hour Pooh on Matching Paper

SMILE