Tuesday, 10 May 2022

How do you write a story (c) by Michael Casey

How do you write a story (C) By Michael Casey

How do you write a Story(c)

By Michael Casey

Well first of all I cannot teach you, because I don’t think it can be taught, so what I’ll do is tell you what I do. I hope that’s enough? And if it’s not, tough. First of all Tinnitus is a curse, and it’s screaming in my head as I try and talk to you. It’s 9.30pm on 10th May 2022, for any of you who like dates. And if you take me on a date, be nice to me, and make sure I get home safely, or book a nice hotel if you are seducing me.

Now first of all did you spot the rhymns? What I’ll do followed by tell you, for example. Then enough rhymned with tough. It’s very simple stuff, have I explained enough. Moon and June in songs, bad songs are worse, you just wish there was no second verse. See worst matched with verse. I may be wrong, but I’m explaining via a song, for Wong our Chinese cousin. Shanghai family and all that, and I did just actually let out the cat. Totoro is her name, she climbs the high ground on the fence, and view the land, so she cat attack, as she’s an alley cat.

I hope you’ve had enough of all this, wait a sec while I have a pee, I’ve been drinking too much tea, actually it was Pepsi and I do have Ckd actually. If ever you meet somebody who writes like this, excuse yourself and have a pee, and don’t come back, not even for your flasher mac.

Now I did LISTEN to BBC Radio 4, like the internal BBC World Service for 20 years, constantly. Then I started writing, so that’s over 50 years in LOVE with words. I did of course read by the yard, everything in the bookcase my desk in Primary School, History mainly. Then loads more too. If you want to give your kid an advantage glue the dial to the BBC radio, not music, just Quality Speech Radio. Don’t them have a phone till secondary school, and switch off Wifi as needed. Give them pencils and crayons and let them learn to draw too. All this will help this their brains expand, without the use of harmful chemicals. I mention this as I spotted a kid in the street sniffing laughing gas as he walked past my house. STUPID. I’ll mention another thing 20, years ago at the hotel, one of the staff was given E on a night out, the next day I had to call an ambulance for them as I was the First Aid guy on duty that day. Substances are killers, they ruin your imagination.

So, how do I write a story, simple, I make it up as I go along. If you have read a lot, and listened for 20 years to radio plays and stuff, you should have something in your head, not forgetting lots of films on tv, maybe 5 a week, nowadays maybe more, though Korean and other foreign films, or Lord of the Rings yet again on tv. The writer was a Birmingham man, I bet some of you don’t know that. For The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker maybe a tiny bit of planning, but otherwise I let it roll till I finished on Leap Year Day 1988. Then I wrote a few plays and stuff, before deciding to do History and Shakespeare at the Open University, 3rd Level which is equal to 3rd year University. I was also working full times including night shifts in my Computer Room. After all that constant work and study for 2 years, like F1 and F2 like hospital doctors, my nephew is at Med school, that’s why I slipped in that comparison. 80 hours a week for 2 years, I decided to rest. Hence no more full length books but Short Stories.

However I do have enough ideas now for the sequel to The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker , Tears for a Butcher, that would take a year of my life at least, if I had the energy. So that’s why I repeat myself and say I need a Korean speed typist, so I could dictate to her, and for a reward we’d have four kids and form a Kpop band. Or is that just a bucket list wish, or are you all being sick in a bucket at the very thought of it. I’ll have you. know 20 years ago, one of the girls at the hotel said that another girl wanted to breed with me, because my daughters were and still are so pretty. Or is that the sound of you all being sick in the bucket.

So you start a sentence, and that leads to another, and you just continue, if you can see something out the window it may be included subconsciously, like a fat silver haired man in shades walking by, or is that my own reflection. As you write you reflect on things, and you distort things like mirrors at an amusement park. I’ve just remembered when I was 1st in Shanghai before I had kids, there was a mirror there that we looked in, but nothing could make me thinner, maybe that was at the zoo where they have real pandas. See a memory from long ago just bubbled up and hit the page, it’s as simple as that really. I seem to remember everything, if I could do that for work related things then I would have made a better career path. Instead Korean Kdramas are the best part of my life, in between chronic pain and Ckd but at least I do have a great Pirate scar in my chest to bore you all about. So that’s it for tonight, its 10.25, have you had your money’s worth, just give writing a try, it’s kept me happy for 35 years now. Though I’d say it took a full year to teach myself, after the 20 years or Radio +.

That’s all, and don’t forget to pray the Rosary for Peace in Ukraine, Putin is insane, can Russian’s find their Courage and give him the Elbow, or Elba like Napoleon.



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