And This makes my Life Perfect

And This makes my Life Perfect ©

By

Michael Casey

So, all I have to do is follow the plan, and I’ll touch my toes again.

If I buy this book and read it religiously I’ll be truly free.

There is of course the Tshirt too, that’s free if I subscribe to the Podcast

Then there are seminars, and meetings, and we have a special greeting

For only $500 we’ll be so hip and groovy, and a full 1% donation to Charity

So now I feel I’m in with the In crowd, and my Life will be so meaningful

I’ll have a glow, because I’m so fit

But if you believe any of this then frankly

you are worshipping a bucket of S**T

Come on Wake up, don’t Woke Up

You have fallen for the 3 card trick

Why spend all your hard earned cash on any of this

All that cash, and all it does is give you a rash

Rashly running to the New Life, having no time for Reality

Sorry I’ll miss you, I have to go to this seminar there

And I’m struggling to find the air fare, buddy can you spare a million dimes

I’ll pay you back I promise, once I finish this course my life will be richer

And then, and then I’ll pay you back, but lend me more for the Online  bit

And yes folks it’s all a crock of S**T

Think for yourself, talk to Pete over the fence, or Pat in the steet

Talk with Tom, Dick or Harry and Gay Larry, and Liz the Lesbian too

Talk to Don the toilet cleaner at the Gym

Ask hairy Mary down the store

Ask and ask again

Speak to the Virgin, not Mary, though she is a good listener too

But Veronica the Virgin, the mother of ten, who drives a school bus

She bought if cheap to drive her brood about

Ask Den too, who always did the dirty with Veronica the Virgin

He was a lonely child and swore he’d have a baseball team of kids

And when he met Veronica a single child herself, she agreed

So 1^st base, 2^nd base, 3^rd base, 4^th base and repeated home runs later

Veronica and Den were no longer but a dozen, and they say its cheaper

That way, by the dozen

But the point is why pay for boring vacuous rubbish

When you can get free opinions from family and friends

And save your money for Walmart bargains instead

As if these Life Coaches have ever had a real job

As if they really care about you, just their fake tans and teeth

And stock options as they fleece you and me, and laugh all the way

To their Cayman island bank

You have your priest or rabbi or wise Wanda the street walker

Wanda has seen life from many positions, and her advice

Normally from a park bench as she sobers up

Is real advice hard won, very hard won, but it is real

Not fake or imaginary, even if it is don’t be like me, do the opposite

Do you want to join the Selfie crew, or really selfish

I’m all right Jack as I’m conning you, out of your hard earnt money

Do you really want to be like a perma-tanned homes abroad sales agent

You have choices in life, and who really cares about you

Your Priest, your family and your community

So, get some reality and don’t waste your cash on programmes

Switch them off with your remote, and vote with your feet

And if things are really bad, buy a ticket to ride, and shake the dust off

And try your luck someplace else

You don’t need any sales pitch, just hitch your wagon

And follow the stars, in the sky, nowhere else

And take yourself to the Promised Land, that you decide for yourself

In the end the only person you can trust is yourself

So, listen to the toilet cleaner, listen to everybody

But you decide what’s best for you

So, spend spare money on a better diet and walking shoes

And if you can spare a dime, put it in the Charity box

Not in some Cayman island account

And this is free advice, which may not claim to change your life

But if it does, don’t thank me, thank the toilet cleaner

****. so my famine is over here’s a new piece, and hello to Shaffi who the office girl thought was a Lazy Scruffy Indian when in fact he taught Consultants ho to use lasers in surgery

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