Lech,
Boris and Gregorgi Rescue the Old People’s Home ©
By
Michael
Casey
Well as
we are all stuck in the snow I’ve decided to share this story, you can believe
it or not, its up to you. It’s 1st March 2018, Putin is boasting
about his toys of war, as are other leaders. Can we just put these things away
and advance science for all Mankind instead? The best of all our people is in
its Spirit. So let me tell Putin and Kim and Trump a story about real Spirit.
This is the story of how Lech, Boris and Gregorgi rescued 100 old people
trapped in a blizzard with medicine and food running out.
Now
Popaloffoff lies somewhere in the East where Poland, Ukraine and Russia make
love on the map. They make love in bed too but I’m just trying to give you an
estimation of where it is. Up in the mountains along a winding road and perched
like an eagle looking down on a fast flowing river is an old monastery that is
also an old people’s home for locals. So
priests and shepherds live there, the priest paint icons and the shepherds
produce the finest vodka anywhere in the world, if you live in that climate you
need a good drink.
This
Winter 2017/2018 has been bad, today 1st March 2018 the weather is
savage. Lech and Boris and Gregorgi got a call on the CB radio, Shepherd down,
we are running out of supplies especially medicine. We may have to burn the
icons to keep warm. Now to anybody in the East an icon is a Holy Holy thing,
its worth more than gold, worth more than beating USA at the ice hockey.
I’m whispering this now but an icon is
worth more than Vodka.
So when
the message came on the CB radio Lech, Boris and Gregorgi had to do something.
The Blizzard could go to Hell, in fact it could kiss Gregorgi’s fat ass, and
his ass was fat, very fat indeed. They mounted their snowploughs and drove to
base. Grit was poured to over-brimming on all three trucks, and a trailer was
attached to each. Not forgetting a case of vodka in each cabin. With a blessing
from an atheist they departed.
Only a
fool, a madman, and a believer would even attempt it in this weather, but that
would describe the Trio. In Popaloffoff they got the message that help was on
its way, then the CB died. So they huddled together and prayed. A few of the icons
were near the fire for when the firewood ended. Now as I said before Saint
Michael considers Lech, Boris and Gregorgi to be his friends. As for the icons
they have special powers too, but more of that later.
Driving
in a blizzard is no fun, the Trio laughed and joked and cursed at each other
over the radio. They were on a mission, a mission from God. They were not Blues
Brothers they were Slavic cousins, and they were better drivers. Slip sliding
away they went, round and round a garden like a teddy bear one step two step
and a tickle under there. Good job there was vodka on the seat beside them. It
was barely above freezing inside the cab, though they had their furs to keep
them warm. That bear had nearly killed them 10 years ago, but they had sworn an
oath to high Heaven that if they did not die they would repay the favour. So
now wrapped in that bear’s clothes it was time to repay that debt. Popaloffoff
was calling them, I saved your 3 lives, now you must save the least of my
brethren.
It was
logical, well logical to a fool, a madman and a believer, they were each and
all of those things. They had visited Popaloffoff when they were kids and it
had made a big big impression, so now, they had to do it, they just had to
answer the call. Slip sliding away, the trailers sliding like a puppet on a
string.
Disaster
almost struck. Lech was leading his plough veered to the left, then magically
it shot to the right along the mountain road. Boris and Gregorgi swore they saw
an angle appear and push his truck back on the road. Was it the vodka, it was
hard to tell through all the snow. It was Saint Michael himself, he had skin in
this game, as did all the angels and saint on the icons.
After
that save, like a diving ice hockey player in the Olympic final, Saint Michael
was joined by a multitude of angels. If their icons were burned it did not
matter, saving the lives of a Trio such as Lech, Boris and Gregorgi did matter.
Now the
road to Poploffoff is very dangerous and you an slip off and never be seen
again, or until Spring comes and the snow melts. The wind howled and the snow
fell. The vodka was drunk as the Trio drunk through the blizzard. How they
stayed on the road nobody would ever know, but if you were an angel looking
down you could see snow angels in the snow to the left and to the right as
angels pushed the truck to keep it on the road. Hundreds of snow angels made in
the snow by real angels. But you don’t believe me, do you? You think I’m
drinking vodka?
The fire
was burning low so the priest with tears in his eyes put an icon on the fire.
Then he closed his eyes, he did not want to see his sin. 100 people and more
huddled around a fire with their eyes closed, begging the angles and saints to
forgive them for their sin. The angles and saints were crying, not for their
icons but because they were humbled to see such Faith.
Lech,
Boris and Gregorgi drove on the perilous road, slip, sliding away. They cursed
each other more, to encourage each other more. Then a tragedy, the vodka was
finished. They fell silent, not long to go now, they had to concentrate more,
the road was at its most dangerous now. Saint Michael called for
reinforcements, a wall of angels their wings outstretched with swords drawn
lined the road. Nothing would prevent them from getting to Popaloffoff now,
only the Devil himself had come to see what was happening, he had smelt the
scent of burning icons.
While
Saint Michael hacked at the Devil with his sword Lech’s truck went over the
cliff. It was hanging half on and half off the road. Boris and Gregorgi slammed
on the brakes on their trucks. He would be dead in seconds. Only then 3
enormous bears appears and pulled the trailer and truck back on the road. The
bears disappeared to be replaced by a golden angel, a beautiful golden angel.
Nobody
said anything they drove in silence up the mountain road to Popaloffoff. They
entered the courtyard and ran to refectory where everybody had been gathered.
Lech, Boris and Gregorgi handed out medicine and food and unpacked the
supplies. A madman, a fool and a believer had saved the day.
The Trio
looked about and could see the icons that had been put on the fire. But when
they took them out they noticed something, they wiped the soot away and the
icons were perfect, intact. Babushka asked the trio to follow her to where she
had been painting a new icon. She turned the icon around, and there Lech, Boris
and Gregorgi could see a golden angle with 3 bears on it.
I need a
drink they said in unison. So they had a drink, a real good drink. In fact they
were given the recipe for Popaloffoff vodka, so if you wonder why Lech, Bori
and Gregorgi are in Warley Woods or any woods for that matter its is because
they are attending to their still. Oh, and before I forget, I have an angel on
my wall as I talk to you all. And as for golden angel icon with 3 bears on,
that is on the wall in Putin’s private office, as well as a few bottles of
Popaloffoff vodka. Pope Francis has been invited to Russia you know, maybe
Putin will give him a photocopy of the icon, or just some Popaloffoff
vodka.
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