Monday, 25 November 2019

Today's Desk

Today’s Desk ©
By
Michael Casey

Well my new story rate has slowed down, I was all stiff and could barely walk due to my bad back, its an 11 year old injury that revisits me from time to time. It’s like the tide that comes and goes and then there are seasonal tides, though in my case it’s pain. Ok, I’ll shut up about pain, you just want a story. So throw another log on the imaginary fire, or snuggle under the bed clothes with your girlfriend, ok with the dog, but put your hunting riffle under the bed on safety. You don’t want to shoot yourself, even if my writing is that bad, you are not Hemingway reading me.

So to today’s story. Today’s Desk. There are 2 desks in this room, my desk and there was space for a 2nd desk in this room, here in the new house. Which is an old house, but we spent too much that we cannot afford doing it up, so it’s the new house. Up the hill from the old house. The irony is that it was this hill that alerted me to my bad heart, and it was thanks to the nurse insisting on sending me for tests that saved my life nearly 5 years ago now. The hill was so steep I could hardly breath, I used to wake up in bed breathless sometimes too, and Ukrainians you are smirking at the back, I just hope you put your riffle on safety, otherwise the cat will set it off, or should I say Setitoff, the cat’s name. How would you explain a hole in your mattress and a bullet in your butt?

Joking apart, was that the leaves on a tree moving in the wind, or just a Ukrainian walking towards the house, you are all so big, so very big.
Now back to the story, the desk. I looked at the other desk in the morning when I finally got out of bed, and it made me smile. Why, because my small daughter’s giant size mug was in the corner. So it made me think of her. Books and notes are open ready to read, as well as flash cards, freshly arrived from the Amazon, at least they are not plastic. Shelving for this and that too, which her big sister left behind while she’s at University doing BioChem 200+ lads and 20 girls I think. And yes of course she’s in the top 10% do you think she’d be like me?
Now back to little sister, she has highlighters and low lighters on her desk, everything at the ready. Felt tips are passe, if you’re a dad you’ll know about this already. A student, must have the right kit, highlighters or lowlighters from Japan, Muji I think they are called. I just pay for them. We are an international family after all, I’ve not moved 3 miles from where I was born, I’ve only ever lived in 2 houses, this is now the 3rd, but mother was from Shanghai, our kids are Chinese/Irish where do you think the brains came from? Iceland, as in the country? No, Iceland the frozen food store, and not brains but bains faggots. You readers are horrible sometimes, after all the 1,535,000 words I’ve given you, I hope Setitoff does just that.

Ok I’m going to sulk now, say sorry or I’ll not finish the tale. Have you said sorry? Or did you just curse me? The central heating controls have stopped working again, so icicles might appear amongst my words, it’s something simple, the central heating, my dinner too. While YOU were sulking, I put the dinner on. Small daughter has just arrived, so I must attend to her, so you can play with Setitoff the cat, but watch out because if my cat Totoro turns up, she will fire your riffle, so better lock it away properly while I have dinner and play with the central heating controls. And no Vodka would warm me up, but really, really.

Ok, it’s a few days later and our Ukrainian plumber has saved us, so we are happy and warm, he is excellent by the way, an Olympian of Plumbing. His son loves reading too. So now I’ll continue, I look to the left and the other desk is spotless, my small daughter has moved all her rubbish upstairs. Her mocks started today, Jane Eyre and Citizenship, so I’m pleased they went well. Now that the heat is back to normal she won’t join me here in the study but will move to the kitchen and her spot at the kitchen table next to the radiator. It’s her preferred spot, where she feels comfortable and warm, a big thanks to our Ukrainian Olympian plumber again.

We all have a favourite spot where we study, my big sister used to sit over the palin as we called it, sat on a chair next to the big hedge by Mrs Patrick’s in the summer sun. In the winter she sat right next to the old coal fire reading a book, so close that the criss-cross of the metal fire guard marked or even branded her legs. As for me I used to stay up late reading Alistair McClean books, Guns of Navorone if I’ve spelt that right, I think there were 17 of them in total, so I’ve out-written him, in quantity if not in quality. This was 35 years ago, in my big reading period, I used to go to bed in the cold as the heating was all off and it was always 2am I seem to remember. So cold is a theme there. And just as I say that a Polish delivery guy has just brought a small oil heater, see God has perfect timing even if my writing does not. I’ll test it then put it away, now that the central heating is back on.

I suppose God tests us too and puts us at the back of the queue, is that Obama I can see there, what did he do wrong? Apart from not grooming future leaders, or is he doing that? Maybe he’ll send me an irate email, I’d rather he sent me a bag of chips, not microchips, fish and chip chips. I was going to have a fancy desk like the Resolute desk, only that would have spoilt the new look at the new house so I’m here to one side of the chimney breast and the other desk is at the other side of the chimney breast, like twin desks suckling on a chimney. At least you can lie on the rug on the floor or flake out on the settee behind. That’s how the room was designed. Work hard at at desk then chill on the rug or the couch behind as you Americans call it.

I hope my girls started their paths to PhDs via the student desk to my left. Me and my desk, with a 10 year old LCD tv as a monitor are going nowhere, just down or is it up the garden path with you my readers being led by an invisible string. Where am I taking you all? How would I know? I’m just the writer, with fairy dust in my eyes, but at least my fridge has ice cold drinks inside. Yes I’m perverse, froze to death inside and outside and now I’m drinking ice cold Dr Pepper. If you want to moan leave a complaint, on the complaints desk.


   





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