Hanging out the Washing

Hanging out the Washing ©

By

Michael Casey

Well I’ve just come in from the garden and checking out the washing, I get all the glamorous jobs being a Hausfrau. If you checked my site earlier I was decrying my kids for never hanging out the washing correctly, so I posted a Panda hung by his ears on our washing line. Hanging washing is a very important job, if you don’t stay on top of it you’ll end up with no clean knickers. If you are a bloke you’ll just sniff and say they’ll do for another day or two. If you are a girl, you’ll just do without as no pantie line look is so much better for your clothes.

You learn a lot when you hang out your drawers and all your clothes. You see just how poor you are, the quality of your socks and jumpers. How many holes in the armpit or is there daylight in your pants. Or is that just me. I live with 3 girls and a female cat, so that means there is always washing to do, as a Lady cannot have smelly clothes after all. A bloke will just spray a bit of extra High Karate or whatever is cheap and cheerful and leave the same clothes on till next wash day down at his mother’s. He may have left home but only his mother can be trusted with his drawers. Or maybe he loves his old mum and its a way of keeping an eye on her.

Looking at washing on washing line is sport for pigeons who come and dump on your washing. Maybe that’s why washer dryers were invented, though if you have a cat then pigeons avoid your garden. My neighbour had no cat and was ashamed of her knickers so used to dry them in the back bedroom. She did not want any man to see what was underneath her exterior. My other neighbour was like a stripper, everything hanging on her washing line to tease, I’ll leave it to your imagination. You can learn so much from a washing line.

As women have so much clothing they use up all the clothes pegs. How could they use 100 clothes pegs, so I’m forever buying clothes pegs, they tend to break so easily. Somebody should invent super strong clothes pegs, they will become a billionaire, or maybe we could all 3D print clothes pegs.

Another gripe is why don’t people untangle their clothes before they put it in the washing. The clothes come out clean but in car crash condition. Left leg in shake it all about, in out, right leg in swing it around, do the the unfolding and untwisting, or it will never dry on the washing line. Towels should be fed into a washing machine too, otherwise they just go around and around like a basketball player with his foot nailed to the ground. They go in smelly and come out smelly, you have teenage daughters and see how many towels you get through.

They use a bath sheet, 2 square metres to dry themselves with, I use a loincloth, my own not anybody else’s. Or rather a tiny towel that I fold this way and that way to wipe my hair then body and my nooks and crannies dry. If you’ve seen a professional cleaner at work you’ll understand, but instead of cleaning office furniture, and polishing brass, I’m cleaning my, well drying my, drying my bits and pieces. You’ve heard the song no doubt, you’ve seen the bear in the Jungle Book well that’s based on me, obviously.

We used to have 2 lines for the washing plus two poles to keep the washing in place, one of the Poles was called Lech, only joking a wooden post is called a pole. I’m sure Polish people make plenty of jokes about me, STOP. I’ll cry, don’t cry for me Cracow, or was it Argentina? I have readers in both places. But back to my knickers on the washing line. In Shanghai they have bamboo poles to hang the washing from, so we knew when we got back to grandma’s when we spotted my blue flags flying in the breeze above.

We have one of those triangular contraptions in the garden now at the new house. I was amazed just how much washing it can hold. But remember to hang horizontally or landscape as much as possible then your drawers and towels dry so much quicker. If you are shy you can hide your undergarments on the inside of the hanging frame, with towels on the outside, then your modesty is preserved. Though when you wash your bondage gear, be careful to use plastic clothes pegs. If you got a splinter from a wooden clothes peg in some strange position on your bondage gear you could end up in hospital. Then you’d end up all bandaged and bound up, and you may even need a needle too.

Hong Kong Hello

Sunday, 24 February 2019

Hong Kong hello

Hong Kong hello
well up and down, north and south and east and west are reading my stuff, Canada too so hello to you all.

Why do you hang clothes out Landscape?

Why do you spread things out on the washing line?

I've just had to remind my teenagers, what about yours?

Bocadillo or Sandwich to you and me

michaelgcasey Uncategorized 23/02/2019 4 Minutes

Bocadillo or Sandwich to you and me ©
By
Michael Casey

I’m listening to JM Jarre as I talk to you, Souvenir of China has just played, which is a sad piece and in my mind I could use it when Big Sid is “dead” and transported away from Dudley Rd hospital to the  undertakers. I can picture what will happen and how it will look, all I have to do is write it all down. Then the miracle of getting a producer to turn Tears for a Butcher into a film or a tv series. So much Hope, or is it self delusion? Well if Guatemala can be reading The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker today in Spanish translation, and a Russian translation being read in Kazakhstan who knows what the Future might bring.

Are you hungry after all that? I am, so lets talk bocadillos, I know you all think I talk a load of old bocadillos already, but as my Guatemala readers will tell you a bocadillo means sandwich. So go Google, better still go make your own bocadillo with a few cervezas, or beers. Its a long time since the Spanish exam so forgive the bad Spanish. You normally can speak 4 times more than you can write. Oh, and don’t forget me, I’ll have a beer and a sandwich too, just leave it next to the screen, just as you leave something for Santa.

Ok now that we are all ready let’s talk bocadillos. As a child I used to get a big mug and mix cocoa milk and sugar in it, then I dipped sliced white bread into it. All the varieties of bread did not exist when I grew up, or we didn’t think to buy them, 1960s I talking of. I was left with a clown’s smile in cocoa all over my mouth and face as I enjoyed dunking the folded white bread into the cocoa. Try it for yourself if you have never done it before. You can put photos on Facebook, and tell everybody it was the fat silver haired writer in shades from Birmingham’s idea.

When we went on a family Pilgrimage to Lourdes in 1966 we did not like the French food in hotel Biarritz, so dad had to improvise. So we bought baguettes and bananas and made banana bocadillos for all 8 of us, we 6 kids were aged 16 to 3 at the time. Then we got lost and my biggest brother in his Joe 90 glasses said, “ou est hotel Biarritz” to everybody. A couple of years later he had gold octagonal glasses and long hair, was it even in an Afro, and he was at Queens Oxford studying Modern Languages.

1999 in the February, so that’s 20 years ago I decided to go to Spain. I had been relearning my Spanish, just 15 mins a day but every day for 4 months prior to going and guess what, it worked. I did nearly mix up blue and yellow, and nearly caught the wrong bus to Barcelona but I corrected myself in time. So I was in the middle of Barcelona asking people “donde esta hotel Paral Lel” Just as stupidly as my brother in Lourdes 33 years previously.

Though my Spanish was better than his French was in 1966, I had am better trick up my sleeve. “ Me llamo Miguel, audarme” So this little old lady and her friend helped me. Because her son’s name was Miguel too. They took me up Las Ramblas and showed me which metro to take. I also told them I was hungry too, all in Spanish so they took me into a Tapas bar, and said Feed this Man.

And that is how I was introduced to Tapas and Bocadillos in a bar in Barcelona. For which I will be eternally grateful. In actually fact every day I went to the same Tapas bar.  “Otra Vez” was what they said when I turned up.  I might be on the other side of Barcelona, I’d look at my watch and say “Tapas” then jump on the metro, so I could have my dinner in a nice place. It really was a great holiday. I bought a leather jacket which I still have, and I still fit in it, again. I also have a Writer’s style briefcase which I still have. I also saw the Russian ballet in Barcelona too.

My holiday there was a bocadillo in itself, a sandwich of tasty events, I even met a pretty girl at the Tapas bar. I struggled to hold a full conversation. At the end she said in English, it was good for me to use Spanish. She’d been to England, the South coast, it may have been Bournemouth, was there a failed romance too, I cannot remember much more. She was elegantly dressed with her coat neatly folded on her lap hiding her beautiful legs. And yes that was my last holiday before wife and family appeared like a star in the East, from Shanghai.

So make sure your own life is a bocadillo, on the outside simple, like bread, but inside full of a variety of tastes and adventures. Make sure you have wine or milk to wash it down with. Then you’ll be able to bore all your friends with your stories 20 years later, or is that what only Michael Casey the fat silver haired writer in shades from Birmingham does? Hasta Luego, hasta entonces. Miguelito.
Translations
Wydanie polskie Still Alive 2015win Wiersze dla wszystkichThe Polish TranslationsThe Polish Translationspolish Guardian AngelPolish Edition of Still Alive 2015インドのプリンセスを検索するには – Copyインドのプリンセスを検索するには아직도 살아있는 2015ページ1 Quick Stories in Japanese페이지 1 Quick Stories KOREANMichael Casey The Polish TranslationsBBU Frenchshoplife spanishСтраница 1ЭТО МОЙ ЛИФТ ADBBU GermanJapanese elevator AdvertBBU in ArabicBBU in HebrewBBUMar2008.en.zh-CN (1)bbumar2008-en-zh-cn-150 Spanish Examples50 Spanish ExamplesBBU FrenchBBU GermanBBU in KOREANBBU Russian Translation microsoft word300 وmy new bed아직도 살아있는 2015아직도 살아있는 2015Spanish BBUThe Polish TranslationsKOREAN TRANSLATION Still Alive 201550 Spanish Examples아직도 살아있는 2015

Generating Power

Generating Power ©

By

Michael Casey

Well Spring has sprung here in Birmingham, and Thank God for that, its bright and my knickers are hanging on the washing line, so everything is coming up roses. The paracetamol has kicked in too, so my chest doesn’t feel like it’s been kicked by a donkey.I’ve gone down the hill for beans, I even ate a few so thrust power has driven me back home again. I’ve had a look at the newspapers and I spotted some nonsense about gas not being installed in new homes, to save the environment. So we’ll all commit suicide because we cannot afford the power bill. Which will decrease the population, and so cut global warming.

Which brings me to, how can we power ourselves in the Future. Well cheap solar cells are here already and the price has gone lower and lower. Naturally imported from China, though everywhere else produces their own versions too. I think I read somewhere about putting solar cells in our windows, so we get daylight through them and they generate power too. Why should we just have it on our Casio watches, upscale it to all our windows. I’m sure retro technology would allow a film to be attached to windows to generate power in the future.

I grew up with just a coal fire, then dangerous one bar or two bar electric fires in the bedrooms. I can remember sheet ice on the windows in bad Winters. Then in the 1970s we were forced by law to abandon our coal fire, so we got central heating. Which was glorified one bar electric fires in a panel heater design, but it did have thermostats. Loft insulation makes a difference too. No longer exposed roofs in the winter snow, loft insulation meant the heat did not escape so the roofs kept their snow cover. Well all except the drugs dealers houses, all the lamps forcing the cannabis grow meant no snow.

So how can we save energy and make energy. Perhaps we could have sensors under the carpet, so movement on the floor generates electricity. If you have toddlers, or teenagers forever running around the house, their movement would generate loads of electricity. As would highly sexed neighbours, if you could attach movement sensors to their bed, or with miniaturization to,well I don’t know, work it out for yourselves. Or for the aged or infirm every toilet flush generates power, waste really being used to generate power. Maybe I should have that installed here, CKD and all that. The final way to make power would be to use the heat from the crematorium to produce power. Though I read somewhere water cremation is being introduced into UK. Where literally we would all be flushed away.

So you can see generating power, or saving power does create problems, literally and spiritually. Are we just a commodity? Or are we much more than Pounds of Flesh, if we abuse Shakespeare. If you grew up poor, or had an imagination then you improvised and saved money as you went along. That ribbon from a box of chocolates you saved and it became shoe laces, or you used it to hold the roses against the garden fence. That plastic bag you saved in the kitchen drawer so you had one always, decades before everybody was encouraged to save and reuse. In fact a lot of the time I’m thinking I’ve been doing that for decades. And whatever happened to biodegradable, that was on Tomorrows’ World decades ago, James Burke is still alive too.

We are told kids should not have phones is school, I was throwing my students out of class for using them years ago, and no it was an ego thing either. The local school where my girls go have banned them for years too. Now we have the debate in the Press over phones. Some things as just plain old common sense. In class put the phones away and do not disrupt lessons. One good idea came from phones, they attached a fridge to the relay station and then you could store shots, medical shots not alcohol, ready for the doctors in poor countries to use. By thinking tangent-ally you save lives and money and make better use of what you have.

Perhaps we should have the Misers Award, where we get everybody to think of ways to save power and money. Not just by wearing your Winter coat inside the house to avoid using power, old people do that already. Perhaps a special tin foil that would cook your dinner by body heat alone. So you put your chicken wrap inside the tin foil then you place it in your underpants, or by your breasts. Then 4 hours later your dinner is ready, and if you attached a sensor as well your heart and blood pressure is also monitored at the same time and information is sent to your Doctor. He’ll text a message saying you are healthy and your dinner smells great too.

Speaking of dinner, my underpants are steaming and my breasts feel warm, so I’ll finish now, as I’m having dinner with my doctor, he’s bringing a bottle of wine, nicely chilled, but I don’t know exactly how he chilled it. I’ll leave that to your imagination.