Friday, 6 July 2018

Do What you Can


Do What you Can ©
By
Michael Casey

Now I’m not one of these people that is impressed by things, and I am suspicious of loud, happy clappy people. I distrust them immediately, and when they say they want to “help” I know really “help” means help themselves and fleece me. Salespeople can be like that, others are as honest as the day is long, but the default position should be distrust especially in very large ticket purchases. You have been warned now think for yourselves.

I’ve sidetracked myself, but its very hot in Birmingham and the UK in general so your common sense might not be working, we had the worst Winter in 20 years maybe and now we are having the best Summer in 40 years maybe. Now in the heat as in the cold my body makes me vulnerable, which I hate, it’s not old age rather its my diseases. But my brain is in fine fettle, and though I always have a Buster Keaton look, it’s a way of seeing if people are lying to me. Then like a fat sumo I pounce, or rather waddle. I may look like a bouncer, but I do have a brain, far better than the micky mouse university you went to. Give me strength.

All of this has nothing to do with today’s piece, but I’m sure I’ll weave it together by the time the satnat takes me to the bottom of the page. I WAS impressed by just 4 words I read yesterday in the Columban magazine yesterday. It’s not a magazine for Columbian football fans, nor drugs dealers. Its a missionary magazine, and no not about missionary position for sex workers or those seeking to improve their love life. The Columban magazine is about religious missionary work all over the world by the Columban Missionary Society. I have their calendar on my wall for years, and occasionally I send them a donation.

Now what 4 words impressed me so much, Do What You Can, those 4 words really impressed me. I love you, are 3 words that should impress all of us and lead to great things, and creation, and creation of families. But when we grow up we may be told to Do What You Can. If you are Harry Kane you may score a hat trick over Sweden. That is doing what he can. As for you and me, we’d score 6, Harry can be such a slacker sometimes. Gareth has to promise that Harry can try on his waistcoat if he gets a hat trick, that’s his motivational method.
Doing what you can, means being honest about your abilities and using them to the best of your ability. Hopefully Harry will be given Gareth’s waistcoat because he’ll perform to his very best by doing what he can. If he was a dancer he’d be doing the Can Can because that was doing what he can can can.

Whatever your skill, use it to the very best, just as my dad said 45 years ago. I have no education, I cannot tell you what to pick at O Level, but do what you like, but do your best. This was his mantra for all of us, and I suppose it worked as one went to Oxford, another to Cambridge, a third is a great teacher, and me I am what you see before you. A fat, smelly, silver haired writer sweating in the Summer of 2018 sun, wear his shades in front of the computer as he adds to his 1,333,000 words over 16 books on Amazon.

What about the other side of the coin, what does doing what you can mean then? Doing What you Can, means doing the best with the material you have. If you can draw then draw in a notebook, even if all you can draw is match stick men. If all you can do is sing, then sing, or if all you can do is dance then dance. Whatever you can do, then do it, and never let any bastard belittle you. I saw a documentary on the tv about a musician and how his family broke his guitar and crushed his spirit, but he never gave up. That man was Eric Clapton.

We are not all Eric Claptons and we may never have any such talent. All we are good for is opening doors, as a doorman. I’ve done that, so there is no shame in that. Or all you are good for is cleaning rooms, I’ve done that, there is no shame in that. I’ve cleaned toilets and then chatted to millionaires minutes later. No matter how humble your job, you still have worth, so do what you can, where you can. You may not climb any ladders. But you may start as a humble receptionist and by your hard work and talent become a General Manager, just as my friend Robin did. If you see a General Manager with orange hair in Birmingham then that’s him, say Michael Casey says hello.









The point of all this is that doing what you can, it’s better than saying I’m nothing, I can do nothing. You can be a cheerleader, you may have to stay at home because of illness or infirmity, but you can be the reservoir of love and hope and prayer. Even stuck at home, you can do what you can. Theresa taught us that, and no not Theresa May, I’m sure she’d appreciate prayers, and shoes with poisoned knives in, just like in James Bond. Or a cabinet maker, if you know anybody good with woodwork, especially halving joints, and I’m not talking about Columbians and drugs. I’m talking about doing what you can.Which seems to have brought us to the bottom of the page. And sometimes you have to slap your own bottom when you are at the bottom of a pit of despair or self pity. Or roll up a copy of the Columban magazine and slap the bottoms of the Cabinet, then you’ll force them to do what they can.

Welcoming Finland and Norway

Friday, 6 July 2018

Welcoming Finland  and Norway

Welcoming Finland

I did meet a Finnish lady once when I workd at CPNEC Birmingham, a 4star deluxe hotel. The  lady wanted to know was it fur weather or not.

So God Bless her, just in case it's her who  has stumbled over me.

Or it's Putin  getting ready for his meeting with Trump.

Either way all readers are most welcome.

I will write a new piece later today, but the heat is so much, and post quadruple heart bypass I'm not as gung ho as I used to be. i was telling my neighbour about three 20+ mile hikes I took without any preparation in my pass. Sadly I cannot do that any more. One in 1976 as a MARCH assessor, one in 1986 in Kerry Eire, and one in Normandy in 1985. 5 mile walks used to be so easy, or 8k if you are metric handicapped.

I am not totally useless, I just have to pace myself, which reminds me of an old joke, about church bells and then the icecream van, do your research.


I'll write a new piece  later today, I've been trying to exorcise the cursor from hell,though it could just be a Windows 10 hiccup.

Aren't the England team near Finland? Just go and play with your balls and don't waste your time on me, as if its them. i couldn't even fit into a waistcoat.

By the way why are footballer's balls bigger that rugby players balls? They sell more tickets.

 https://www.amazon.co.uk/Michael-Casey/e/B00571G0YC




Tuesday, 3 July 2018

Passport Photos


Passport Photos ©
By
Michael Casey

As usual I had no idea what to talk about then reality gave me an idea, even though I wish it did not. My big daughter lost her seasonal bus pass, with just 2 weeks left of term time, but the pass lasts till the end of July. So I was was not very happy, so after we moaned and told our daughter she was just like her uncle, he’d lose his arse if it was not tied onto him, as my mother used to say. She went to the shop to get a new bus pass. Only she needed a new passport sized photo, so she had come home like a fool, and we had no spares at home.

This is when it got interesting and funny. She took a photo of herself, then emailed it me to print off, only you have to print it to the size of a passport photo. By doing it ourselves we save a fiver, though if she hadn’t lost her bus pass we wouldn’t need to save a fiver. So I printed the photo on colour paper, I’d bought some ages ago so we had plenty thanks to the Pound shop. Only it came off full size A4. So I tried again, still the same result.

We decided to consult Dr.Google it told us that a passport photo was 35mm x 45mm, so armed with that information we put the photo inside a word document. Then we dragged it smaller and tried to print it. Now my daughter looked as if she was in a hall of mirrors at the fair. I decided to print again on the same piece of paper, hoping it’d go in the space. Only it printed on top of the same photo. Now it looked as if Picasso had taken the photo of my daughter.

Then my daughter noticed I had magnify on the word document, ratio 189%. So I reduced to real size and tried again. This time the picture was better, only my daughter’s neck had been squashed, no longer an elegant swan, now a stumpy little robin. We tried a few times and then finally a 35mm x 45mm photo, or as near as we were going to get. That would have to do.

I used to have software that let you print a whole sheet of passport size photos but that seems to have gone on one of my updates to Windows 10. But at least Picasso would have bee pleased with my  efforts, and I do remember seeing some of his stuff in Barcelona in Feb 1999. Then I tried chatting up a girl with great hair and an American accent, who I discover the next day was a Russian ballerina, who happened to have a broken nose, but maybe it was Picasso doing her makeup in Las Ramblas.

Pictures are strange, and passport photos are even stranger, so you have to keep your sense of proportion in life and in photos, or you end up like a Picasso image.






Monday, 2 July 2018

Story Cards

This Chinese company send me a random email, about LCD greetings cards which you use to explain your products. So instead of a flyer you send this greeting card with a short video. I think its a great idea, obviously I saw how I would use it.

I'd record a video of me reciting a story, you could add if you wanted, the text on  a ticker below plus any foreign translation. Such as Chinese below my words in English. So you watch the video inside the card and read the words and translation. You can do lots of other things too, such as having the story printed in full inside the card, just as songs are listed on CDs.

All in all the perfect way to discover my 2000 stories. I would want 50% of cover price just in case any Chinese  companies are reading this. So you use a greetings card to share laughter and learn English.

A simple idea, www.michaelgcasey.typepad.com to HEAR me, and there's a bit of video on my Amazon page https://www.amazon.co.uk/Michael-Casey/e/B00571G0YC

So if you are that Chinese company do contact me, and I'll start making videos of me telling stories, 2000 stories would make a lot of money potentially. But I won't hold my breath.


Sunday, 1 July 2018

Family Email- Guess what I found in the wardrobe

Sunday, 1 July 2018

Family Email- Guess what I found in the wardrobe

GUESS WHAT I FOUND IN THE WARDROBE?
I found 2 dead rats and a dead bird, Totoro had brought them in for us...
I also found Eve's 2 school shirts and other rubbish just squashed inside by
 LAZY girls.
Luckily none of the rats' of bird's blood was on them.
I also found my SLIPPERS I knew I had another pair, they were hanging up.
In my BASKET, and can all baskets stay out of MY BASKET
I found a brand new purple jumper
I found a  new yellow jumper
I found 2 new red Polo tops
I found a couple of other new tops.
Plus old tops that I need as bedware to protect my nipples after my heart op
as well as that I found 2 new pairs of trousers.
They were all in a sale  7 years ago but went missing once I put them away
and I found my 20 year old pair of formal trousers in the basket too.
SO STAY OUT OF MY BASKET OR I'LL BUT A STEEL CHAIN ON IT
AND FINALLLY LEAVE MY CLOTHES ALONE AND DO NOT THROW ANYTHING OUT
 MRS   CHINESE CASEY
I SHOULD HAVE ENOUGH TILL I DIE NOW, AND IF I DO THE PENSION THING IS
 AT THE BOTTOM OF THE BASKET, for when you are a widow.
SO ALL AND ALL A VERY PRODUCTIVE DAY, APART FROM ONE STAB PAIN 
ATTACK 90 MINS AGO
SO THOSE NEW PAIN RELIEF MEDS DON'T DO ANYTHING FOR THAT.
NOW WASH YOUR BUM, XI NI DI PIGU
********  I emailed this to the wife and kids when they were out. She read it in Sainsbury's on their free in store wifi, she was crying with laughter in the checkout queue.

 300 and Not OUT  has lots of stories like this in it.

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