Michael Casey Birmingham England.: 2025

Friday, 12 December 2025

my day out to the doctor 12 dec 2025

beat tinnitus and had enough sleep

then had breakfast and meds

put Sting Desert Rose on high

joined in with fake arabic

I do enjoy that song

the neighbours probably hate my singing

called a taxi

stood outside seeing if I could accost anybody while waiting

the smell of dope drifting made me feel sick

so went back inside house

taxi came, a hybrid

I said my kids are hybrid too

chinese/irish

got to the GP and the blood nurse grabbed me

even though I was early

I gave bloods and had an ECG

its like being flagulated by an octopus

all the leads

my GP will take a look

so I went next door to the pharmacy

I always go in there for a Fisherman's friend

and to bemuse them

gave then a christmas present

MY HO HO HO MERRY CHRISTMAS

and yes I am better than any Topol father christmas

working at crowne plaza nec 2002 to 2005

I can PROJECT

then I bumped into an Indian and gave his a 100yrd

ted talk and walked to the bus stop

I caught bus to the garage and went in and got

my last lottery of the year

then I crossed the road past the christmas tree sellers

and went to my own local pharmacy, I know him decades

collected my bag of meds

told the pharmacy assistant

to go to the local Kurdish barber and eye up the talent

3 or 4 big strong lads to choose from

I said she should ask which one was going to be

at the top of the christmas tree

and the one that LAUGHED

was the only one good enough for her

but then again, who listens to me

So she smiled and said

Keep taking the Tablets, Michael

On the bus I talked to random strangers

though they may wish I didn't

But they laughed

I also told one of my bus drivers

cos I was on 2 buses if you were paying attention

That she looked like a Beauty Queen

an Asian girl in her late 30s

so either I made her day

of her 7 brothers will come looking for me

only joking

WE love one another here in Birmingham

that's why we are so much better than USA

but we don't chant about it

I spotted a man in a doorway in my street

so I said HO HO HO

he was impressed it's my hotel experience

100,000 people must have suffered me

over the 3 years

so the man in the doorway got a couple of mins

and he may be needing therapy later

But the Off Licence is just down the hill

Though Personally I can leave alcohol

besides carrying a 4 pack up our hill

would kill me

So that's been my day , the past 2.5 hours maybe

and Harry Styles is singing now

You'll bring me home

and so I am here

THANK you all over the world for reading my rubbish

TELL EVERYBODY on your email list

send them all a link

20 different nations every night and not the same ones either

Singapore you have got the bit between your teeth

will NOT beat you

BUT you still have to fill a stadium with readers

before you catch them

can you do it by Chinese New Year

and will anybody actual buy some books

and will genuine people actually post about the writing

instead of wanting to angle in

and make money for themselves

IF you write to me

try writing in sentences

I am mrs fartypants I found you by accident while I was on the toilet

in France or wherever you are, and I was relieved to read you, so I'm

writing to you.

THAT is how you get my attention

NOT lying, NOT wanting to turn MY writing into YOUR opportunity

and that's all for today

and Singapore throwing kids out of school to keep the AAAA grading is

terrible, I've come back from the dead metaphorically and YOU would

probably NOT want to know me

BUT

I'm glad you have found me, so buy a few books and feed me and finally

I'll get off this hill with only FRASSATI for company

and be a good companion as you go on Life's WAY

Harry Styles is singing FALLING

but I'm sure Frassati a new friend of mine will Lift me UP

Overview Books

How to keep the kids occupied, a repeat

How to Keep the Kids Occupied (c)

By Michael Casey

How to Keep the Kids Occupied without getting the Police involved

Well you could handcuff them to the dustbins or a filing cabinet

A friend of my brother was actually handcuffed to a filing cabinet

It was in France, and he was drunk maybe

In Korea they give you a blanket and send you home

Koreans drink 4 times more than Americans

I read it somewhere

They drink more than Czechs if that is possible

Now as I've subdued you, or is it the booze

How do you keep the kids occupied

without invading their bedroom

and you can take the door off the hinges to avoid

SLAMMED DOORS

no door no slamming

I just remembered my Trainer in 1998 did that

I seem to remember now her mentioning that en passant

The Trainer was not a Lion Tamer, or Elephant Tamer/Trainer

No I was on a Presenting Course

Caroline Whitehouse from StatsMR it was you

so big Thank YOU

are you screaming now

Yes you and the Sisterhood allowed me on a Presenting Course

this was followed by my trip to Pilsner in Czech

and my Famous Czech Story

Ewina gave a 10 for it, then took a mark away

cos nobody is Perfect

But back to the Plot, though it may have been a ploy

to get me out of Birmingham and into Oxford ACNiesen office

which looked like a 6th form college, with a field behind

but I digress

This is how you teach Presening

You gather around a Table

The Trainer pulls various object out of a bag like a Magician

Or the Trainees pull objects out of the sack

Then they are placed on the table

the 5 trainees pick one each

They are allowed 5 mins to look at their object

and No a bottle of beer is NOT one

Thought StatsMR was legendary for drinking

It was a Market Research company into alcohol sales company

Otherwise, not one drop passed their lips, hic

So once you have your object you take turns to talk

for just a minute about your object

afterwards you get friendly feedback

then the 2nd person speaks for 1 minute about their object

afterwards friendly feedback

and on it goes

Then a new selection of objects is chosen

But

This time 2 mins explanation

Repeat

So you build your speaking time and get feedback

THE NEXT day

You have to speak for 15 mins

Which is Speech Time, as Kennedy said 15 mins is enough

The next day at Headington Oxford

I was due to speak for 15 mins

I told them about my Paris misadventures a few months earlier

The main event was food poisoning and me going to to a Pharmacy

and asking Avez Vous de L' asparin de bas prix

I got a box with a tube inside, bigger that extra strong mints

Asparin Tamponne was on the box, it was green

No string

It was a new word for me in French

Tamponne means in a tube

Obviously I thought it was something only girls know about

as I opened the box

outside on the wall was a machine, not chewing gum

But a Preservative vending machine

Preservative is a French word go Google

and google is shy, Preservative is connected to

saving you from disease

Go ask the Frenchman in your class

Anyway, as I told this story

Carole Wilkes, I seem to remember she was there

If not, forgive me Carole with an E was it

or Hello Gill with G

So they laughed till they cried

The trainer asked how long did I think I had spoken for

I said 15 mins

She said it was 30 mins

The next day I flew to Pilsner in Czech

and I ended up in an English language Classroom

Where off the cuff I spoke for 90 mins

I could say much much more

But I've taught you how to Present now

500 each maybe for a 2 day course

I don't know for sure

Then I went to work in a hotel a few years later

Speaking to 100,000 people maybe in 3 years

Mini conversations

Years later a Teacher in an Islamic school

ESOL English

so the presenting course helped

Caroline Whitehouse thanks again

I did get Excellent Excellent Exemplary

from my Outside assessor for my Esol Teaching

Now years later I've written 20 books

80,000+ words written so far of book 21

2,000,000 words in books maybe

but if you count everything 3,000,000 words

or 8 to 10,000 pages

Like all the pages of a Printout from StatsMR

into Alcohol sales

So this is how I keep myself occupied

despite

the quadruple heart bypass, arthritis, hernia in centre of my chest

the headaches, the Tinnitus that is like a Barometre inside me

and Ckd with GFR of 25 as I try to avoid Dialysis

So if I can Carry On so can you

and maybe a miracle happens

I did get one in 1996 when my dad survived his heart attack

8 weeks after my mum had died in the marriage bed

and then after visiting my dad every single day for 3 years

I finally met a Shanghai girl

and the rest is History

But a typist and 4 more sons maybe

Could be my next chapter, or story for you

Will a Singaporean come and get me

or will the Undertaker get me first

Though it could just be a Fishing Fleet

in Singapore who reads me overnight

They haven't told me, so maybe I'll never know

Though I could do Stand Up all about it

at the Masala night club in Singapore

Enough, I have to go for bread

Enough said

Published by michaelgcasey

I've updated this 15th Sept 2024 I'm Michael Casey from Birmingham England, the fat silver haired writer in shades. Beware of Others with the EXACT SAME NAME, they are not me, and would not want to be me ... use Google UK to find me, otherwise Posh Americans pop up I've done loads of writing, about 3,000,000 Words worth over 36years now But before I started to write, I LISTENED to BBC Radio 4 for 20 years, from the age of 10 or younger Frank Brown our lodger, went back to County Tyrone and he gifted us his Bush Radio. He'd be nearly 102 now if he is still alive, so say a prayer for him 56 years in love with words, and I still

Friday, 12 December 2025

Share this:

Published by michaelgcasey